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I must have killed mr.zombie to death many times, I think he just wanted to say hi! Finally got the magical artifact with 19 minutes remaining, though I'm pretty sure each action subtracted a random amount of time from that as well?

The time subtracted is one of the things that is not randomized. Also poor Mr. Zombie man!

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Oh, I had the clock jump around in time, in that case! I kept an eye on my computer clock, and 3 minutes had elapsed before a minute in real-time had! If it's a bug, it's a very fitting one for the theme.

time advances one minute when you press space.