The story worked well with the theme, and you did a good job keeping everything coherent and moving forward well. Remember to 'show, don't tell' - e.g., when Oblatio suffers the psychic attack, describe the pain itself, don't simply tell me it was 'beyond imagination'. Was it cutting? Burning? Did it make the sergeant see red? The brutal tension of waiting for the final impact was also well-done by the simple interjection of the countdown timer between paragraphs.
P.S. Bonus points for the Significant Name for the sergeant.