True, it's anything but simple. My mom also speak the same, that my ex-husband is still they key in this matter. But if you ask me, the more time passes, it only becomes clearer that the man is too prideful/has no intention to fight for me :')
If you ask me whether I still love him or not... no. It feels more like I'm taking responsibilities now rather than acting out of love. When the relatives asked me, I also told them to ask my ex-husband first because I won't accept 'whatever' as an answer and like you said, only if he's all in :'D
Thanks again, scriptomancer <3