I appreciate what you were trying to do - I always like when a writer puts their own, unique Tyrian spin on the "legacy" characterizations of the factions. That said, considering your emphasis on the importance of family, I found it jarring that the narrator requires some time to recognize Lucille's scent, to the point where she (implicitly) threatens Lucille with a gun. I think the theme of 'family' is also somewhat undercut by having the whole story as a one-on-one dialogue. I would have been tempted to attach the narrator's workshop to her home directly, allowing more than one other ratperson to interact with her and letting us actually see how the broods look in daily life.
As far as the actual theme of the jam goes I like what you've done here with the parallels and contrasts between the human creators and their ratmen "children". I found the narrator's perception of the humans' actions towards the ratmen as a betrayal of a family relationship to be very powerful and evocative, and I liked the use of alchemy as a point both of contact and divergence.