Skip to main content

On Sale: GamesAssetsToolsTabletopComics
Indie game storeFree gamesFun gamesHorror games
Game developmentAssetsComics
SalesBundles
Jobs
TagsGame Engines
(3 edits)

Hello Stronkboi, I played your game a while ago and I liked the initial concept and came back to check up on whats new. The thing about this itcho site is people are too easy to please, and as such generally leave nice feedback and kind words, but what they don't realize is that its not helping you in terms of you getting critical and important feedback that you need. If you don't know the problems how can you fix them? anyways ill get to that later on in this post. But first things first.

Reading these devlogs I just have to say something and its not going to be pleasant, sorry. Please understand its because I care about your game and want to see it finished sometime in the future.

You should leave your personal life out of this, that's something that should be reserved for people you are close to. Not a project you are working on and its community. The reason im saying this is because its unfair to your community, its emotional blackmail but you most likely were not it doing on purpose. 

But that's what it is, because it's a way to explain away the various problems that you have had during development. It's an unintentional way of making excuses and again im not saying you are doing it on purpose you probably didnt realise you were doing it. Like I said, family and friends. Or if its with this community, a bit more private instead of public announcements.

If you can seperate these things from your project and this community, it will benefit both you and the people who love your game. 

So please, when you post about development and updates. Talk about the game, and only the game and its progress. If you need to mention irl because it had an effect on the former be short and to the point and vague about it, because its private.

That's all I have to say on that point, but there were a few other things as well. In a previous devlog you were asking for critical feedback and I do have some to give, though its been a while and I probably should do a replay if the game changed significantly.

1. I remember there being stops in the story between segments of the game so basically the author talking to the reader about the next part of the game and its features and such. Those really don't need to be there, these things can be explained outside of the game rather than in the game. 

2. The first couple of chapters had a good flow to the storyline from what I recall, but after that everything seemed to move too fast. Each setting that was reached felt like it needed to be explored for longer, and I felt like some of the most interesting parts of the game were getting forgotten (for example, reading about past lore events with the other characters). 

3. Shortly after reaching the underground dwarf area is when new elements and characters were getting introduced more and more quickly as the story went on. The pacing in general got a bit too fast and the story was getting more difficult to follow and/or stay invested in. Not long after that point is when I had stopped since that's as far as the games development had reached.

4. Ok some positive feedback now, im not a total grinch I promise. Your characters are likeable, and lovely. The romantic and e scenes that they have are also great. You have a knack for character development and I think you should make that a big focus. The other good part of your writing is your lore (aka worldbuilding) and you should definitely consider a refocus onto that as well. While I do appreciate the random humor, I think it might be good to break the 4th wall a lot less and add more subtlety to it. 

Other thoughts - I see you have a discord for feedback, thats good. Ontop of that you definitely should seek out as much help from more experienced people as you can (other authors, devs) and other sites that specialize in visual novels or writing in general. 

I Understand that this was a lot of text to read, and I may be really out of date with some of that feedback since I played this a long while ago. So if I missed the mark completely on a bunch of things my bad. 

I also understand that a lot of the things I said in this post are potentially upsetting to a lot of people, since im not holding back and I'm speaking very bluntly and honestly. So if this does upset a lot of people, I wont hold it against you if you want to delete this post entirely. So long as you read it once that's good enough for me. 

But at least its not another post just saying 'I love your game, you can do it buddy' right?  because quite honestly, I think posts like that are far more insulting and valueless than actual critical feedback.

Hey there, first and foremost I thank you for the VERY constructive feedback, it is appreciated, both negative and positive.

Now I'll answer your concerns and negative points.

I could see why someone would see my post as Emotional blackmail, but the sole reason I talk in detail about my personnal life is because I owe it to people, there hasn't been a single update in over a year, I've got to give the fair explanation, unfortunatly it's a packaged deal with my person, I've felt guilt over the past for not telling players what was going on in my life to explain the delay.

I don't expect anything out of it I say it very often in my posts, but we all have our own problems, I'm only talking about mine, it's a way for me to also vent, it's sorta therapeutique.

Now the way ToU was built was that it was supposed to be a one off update.

Going up to 0.5, like your average Japanese VN, you were just a human wanting to hit gob & elf puss.

Keep in mind the story comes from a passionate stronk with no IRL problem at 19 years old.

I pumped updates pretty fast until something sort of clicked inside of me, I wanted to change the setting, I got perhaps a bit too ambitious, and I hit a wall, making renders became a bit of a slog and it happened right as my life changed about two years back.

The reason the pacing got THAT out of hand is mostly due to author whims and wills, I wanted something more original but ended up locking myself up even more, I really wanted a dwarf character so I created Nelsie, but today I realize that she's far harder to handle than I hoped, she's hard to animate for scene, her character doesn't need growth, she's important for a few lore reveals, but I can't give her the spot I wanted to give her.

Project: Jericho being an improved project will have far less pacing problems mostly due to being planned to be long from the get go.

0.11 was FULLY written in that Project: Jericho mindset of expanding lore and fleshing out characters, so the pacing while still fast should still be digestable with 0.12 being a slow slice of life-ish update & 0.13 being a Major lore event.

Being an author is a lot of responsability, mostly mentally, EVERY single day is a day I stress about being too slow on my work or about renders being of bad quality, it's a 24/7 thought, especially with Patreon being my SOLE source of revenu, without my Patreon I unironically starve otherwise I would've gladly paused each month I didn't post anything, but I'm forced to keep it open for now and as I said, it took me a god damn year but I feel like I'm on the right path to make ToU better, I suppose people like you will be the judge of that for 0.11.

As for the humor, I'm very fucking stupid, I love myself a good cringe joke, and I really couldn't stop myself from doing it, I remember the first time I made this dev interaction thing, I laughed for over an hour working on it, that said I do want to keep my interactions in the game, mostly because my character is part of the game's Identity.

With that said, I get that the humor got pretty "eh" it's funny once, twice, perhaps a third time but then it might get hold, so I decided to go back to subtle humor, I'll still appear from time to time to do weird ass shit, but you will get far less segments in which I talk directly to the player, I get that it breaks the immersion.

It's the same for Project:Jericho the humor is kept in it's wacky stronky style, but without any ACTUAL cut from the story.

If I can keep up my workflow even for a bit I'll get 0.11 out very soon, followed by Project Jericho a month or so after, I thank you once again for your feedback, it isn't an inch upsetting, feedback especially when constructed as such is HIGHLY valuable, take care and thank you once again.

(1 edit)

Hey Stronk.

On the IRL - Well, with all that context it definitely makes a lot more sense. I undertand a lot more why those explanations are there, since it looks like it was to answer a lot of questions that came from your community after a long time period. So I get it, showing commitment, and that you care is ofcourse a good thing. Thanks for giving what I said some thought. 

On the Progress -  That's definitely something that most of your community will be supportive on, quality trumps quantity almost always. They will happily show patience if it means a better result. That is how you would take the pressure off, by leaning on the community in that way rather than the former. Sure you might get a small minority of complainers, but that's a very common thing to be honest.

So long as they get regular progress information on the game itself or devprogres patch or no patch you don't need to feel guilty about how fast you are working on it, or need to get too personal with it. That kind of pressure can have the opposite effect on you and the work itself, and seperating yourself from that would make it a lot smoother in the long run. So basically the same thing I said before. 

It may take longer, but because its something that is a better quality when it comes out will make both you and the people reading a lot happier about it and the time it took will be completely understandable. Anyway, that's all from me on that.

On the game - So from what I understand its basically a complete rework, in that case ill check it out sometime in the future in a couple of months or so. Will leave feedback on just the game next time, instead of rougher subjects. 

Anyways that's it from me, appreciate how open you were despite how abrasive I was. Thing is ive had what I said silenced (deleted) a bunch of times for some other games on itch, so I was kind of expecting that to happen. Pleasant surprise tbh, good luck with the project.