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(+1)

It took a while for me to get into the groove of it, but I liked it a lot when I did. The scifi concepts are cool, and the writing on the erotic scene at the end is particularly nice.

I do think the silly acronyms like ASS and SHAFT tend to spoil the more serious tone of the story somewhat.

(+1)

Thanks for your comment, I’m glad you liked the demo! The last scene was fun to write.

Noted regarding the acronyms - I’ll see how feedback overall is.