Continuity:
CHP2
- On any route but the Sans route, both Sans and Ralsei end up including the note about monsters being large, leading to repetition.
CHP3
- At the beginning of the chapter, it says you grab your blankets and pillow (singular) off the bed, but when the shootout starts the pillow is on the bed. (This is extremely nitpicky, but I figure I'd put it down anyway!)
- In Papyrus' scene in Sans' route, he's described as 'familiar', but the MC didn't see Papyrus before this because they went out the back while trying to avoid Sans.
CHP4
- The music queue from the night jog scene doesn't transition properly in Papyrus' and Wingding's routes.
Typos & writing suggestions:
CHP1
"Ebott City is the second largest cities in the country."
"It's not ever quiet at night" -> never
"You're on the seventh floor and there is no fire escapeon this side of the building"
"You never touched the basket, yet somehow your in first spring here"
"On the wind you catch the sublte floral scent of your roses"
"The skyscrapers block [...] you even lose site of Mt. Ebott in the back." -> sight
"They reach high in the sky with their acromatic colors" -> achromatic
"They run the Fell Kingdom and are the largest supplies of magic crystals in all of Delta." -> supplier
"They have a kind of uniform-all members where a black suit hat" -> wear
"Each window a different a light" -> remove an a
CHP2
"She is a tall woman who laughs with her whole body and has many wrinkles on her tauny skin" -> tawny
"He's the bartender for the dayshift, whereas your the bartender for the evening shift."
"Don't don't your heart, Frisk."
"As a monster, you know he could be dangers, but when you look at him you feel no threat."
CHP3
"What're workin' on?" he asks. -> forgot 'you'
"You crack a small smile You'd love to." -> missing period
"You ask him if he'd be okay to wait for you to get changed—you camere here to run."
"The waiters wear a long-sleeved white shirt dress" -> dress shirt
"A shiver a fear slides down your spine."
"Someone in the biulding stole it, or... destroyed it?"
"What's it matter?" he asks with a frown when he notices your expression. -> should be "what's the matter"
; "what's it matter" would be more appropriate if he already knew what the problem was and was dismissing it
CHP4
"Mister Scott clearly needed someome to talk to"
"You pass many people in street" -> forgot 'the'
"You skimmy through it"
"You turn to the voice [...] crimson eyelights in a black sockets." -> remove the a
"Along with fervor desire." -> should be fervent