Remember that your first projects won't be perfect - mine sure weren't, and no one should expect them to be - but people won't play or pay for them if you don't spend time polishing (e.g. adding sound, animations, working on feedback).
Specific advice:
The text was way too small, the camera was overly zoomed in, controls were floaty, and the game feels like asset store sprites randomly arranged on the default camera background with black gradients on top. Here's what you can do to fix these problems:
- Playtest and watch some videos on platformer controls to make them easier to use
- Add some images/colors to your game page and profile. Feel free to check mine if you're unsure of what to do
- Find some animations for your player, or make them yourself
- Fix the camera and UI zoom issues
- Add some sound from freesound.org and incompetech.com, or learn to make them yourself
General advice: limit the scope of your future games and join game jams to get feedback without spamming the forum. Gamedev is not easy and you should iterate on games when you have time. Only with consistent hard work can you get views and natural attention. Good luck on your journey!