Honestly, my main issue with this is the proverbial blue-balling. We don't get the resolution to the built up tension. We're looking for that release-- what is it Basil will say to Etienne at the park? And then bam, fade to black.
It's a simple tale of romance, but the media-res telling helps heighten the desire to see the ending even more (which is an issue when we don't get the payoff).
Don't know if the Dragon friend is providing much to the narrative either. He's a means to have Etienne reflect, but would not etienne be the kind of character to replay over the issues over and over in his head regardless? He needed perhaps a bit more integration, to take him from feeling superfluous to necessary to the narrative.
I do think the characterization was strong though. Really showing off the anxiety, the means of trying to deal with it through the uh, coping methods? Whatever the correct term is for those behavioral techniques that would be taught by like a therapist.
But yeah, main issue is unresolved conflict. Can't believe you'd blueball us like that. Still nice though, for the length it was.