Sure, here are a few of the lines that had me a little confused about their structure, meaning, and how I was supposed to interpret them:
-You enter the dark void of crumbling egg-shell.
-Your mic to brain malfunctioned for a while...
-A horse with a bouquet of shimmer blooms.
-When the sun comes nigh, they roll their shines there.
Specifically, the sentence structure seems a little off occasionally and it almost seemed like a few words added, changed, or rearranged might do the writing a lot of favors. I did really like the project altogether though, best of luck continuing development!