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I did see that the intro was much better, actually! But I didn't recognize it as a new addition; I just assumed that I hadn't noticed the difference the first time. I'm not any kind of expert, so all I can give is my subjective opinion, but I think it's a big improvement - enough for me to notice without being told, anyway.

Neither did I recognize you as a non-native speaker at all. Usually I am quite good at that sort of thing, so I find it even more impressive that you've managed to not only write in another language, but in a period piece of all things.

There is another typo I will mention - I had assumed before that you were a native speaker and would recognize it yourself eventually, given your grasp of the language, but this might be one of those subtleties. The typo (unless it's some kind of ceremonial pipe of office) is "Marquess pipe", which should be either "Marquess's pipe" or "Marquess' pipe" for the possessive. I'm more of a "Marquess' pipe" fan myself.

There is also a typo in the new introduction that I noticed: "one of the most eligible bachelors in the country". You can probably see what I mean about being extremely picky on this issue.

"In your face" is a good way of putting the dialogue about the lines of succession. I did consider both of those points, but I also figured that, the MC being in contact with at least his parents via letter, he would be made aware of any important events. But I can definitely see how it might not be something he was aware of if he was deliberately trying to avoid that information.