On Sale: GamesAssetsToolsTabletopComics
Indie game storeFree gamesFun gamesHorror games
Game developmentAssetsComics
SalesBundles
Jobs
Tags
(+1)

I love the way the map is drawn. 

I think this could be a fun one-shot or bandit lair in a hexcrawl if random encounters (perhaps a haunting?) and some rumours/hooks are added. With the text alone, I'm struggling to think of a compelling reason for exploring the site instead of just taking shelter to wait out the storm.

For better usability, I would like to see the doors and ladders mentioned in both room descriptions, especially if they are locked. Otherwise, if the players are in room 1, the GM won't know that one of the doors in that room (the one leading to room 3) is locked until they read all the adjacent room descriptions too. I think the author understands this concept at least partially because this is done for things like sounds that can be heard from adjacent rooms.

I would also like to see some more interesting magic items to find. The locket and speak with dead scroll are interesting/evocative. However, the +1 sword and +1 dagger aren't as fun. 

I liked the statuette easter egg. I wonder if the pose of each statuette can be highlighted as a subtle clue that they fit together.

(2 edits)

Thank you for the detailed feedback. Much appreciated. 

Oh yeah, I see that. I missed that haha :) Just an error on my end. There are mentions like these later in the PDF, but not here. I will edit that specific thing later, after the judging.

As for the other things you mentioned, I wanted to leave some freedom for the GM to play with. Personally, I prefer open-ended adventures that leave some wiggle room for tweaking, improv, and interpretation. Perhaps the ghost calls one of the characters by name? Maybe the bandits will go on a routine check-up? Maybe 2-3 bandits will return from patrolling outside and catch the PCs inside? etc.