The pacing is too fast (neck-breaking fast) The protagonist adapts waaay too quickly for it to be credible or believable, there are a LOT of grammar mistakes and misspellings (which overall makes the reading experience less enjoyable) The gratuituous violence from the white werewolf feels hamfisted and shoehorned just for the heck of it and the MC's response isn't natural acting like nothing happened and the same with the white werewolf. Overall: the art was good, though I saw in the sketches that Bowers has nipples then in the sprites or in the CG artwork there's no trace of nipples which is a bit of an inconsistency issue. The story: So far needs to be reviewed again for the issues I described above. Grammar and Misspellins: Those need a serious review and fix, seriously.
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I keep saying again and again that the story is being rewritten from scratch and are fixing the pacing and characters personalities. Scroll down and read my replies from the feedbacks that are similar to yours. The new rewritten demo is being proofread right now, and the pacing and characters are much more polished and better. We have listened to all of your feedbacks and came with the decision to rewrite the whole story from scratch. The MC's fractured ribs play a big factor to the story along with his fear, and confusion being in a world completely different from his, and that will include his health as well, his body will have to adapt to the world. Rest assured, the new rewritten demo and chapter one is looking much better than the old script.