Notes from gameplay (contains spoilers):
- Nice splash logo for your team/company
- Nice inclusion of content warning
- Great font choice for main menu. Fun effect on mouseover
- "Continue" button is clickable even if I haven't played yet. I'm assuming it started me in the same place as if I had started a new game, but restarting to be safe (edit: it did not seem to, seemed to have started me inside a mansion, but new game starts me in a hallway with a much more pixelated overlay)
- Interesting art style. Heavily pixelated which leads to a distracting effect when the pixels move such as in character animation. Up close and when paused, the character art looks quite nice, especially details like the cat ear headphones
- Should the camera be fixed? My character is walking away from the camera. Looks like this is intentional, but the control scheme is a bit disorienting, especially as I have to rotate and then walk forwards to aim my movement
- I like the CONCEPT of this camera perspective, feels artistic and gives me the impression of a security camera watching me walk, but I think the need for navigating the character makes this difficult - if I could just press a single button to move and not have to worry about aiming where I'm going, I think this would be a lot more effective. Maybe making A and D strafe versus turn would help mitigate this. As is, it feels like it's adding unnecessary complexity which doesn't bring anything to the table, eg no engaging mechanics in the movement, just frustration in navigating
- Pixelated text is difficult to read, too pixelated
- Ah, great pull back to another level of gameplay. Awesome opening
- Nice ambient background sound
- Nice sound on dialog printout
- The knife doesn't seem to do anything - clicking within the dialog box seems to advance dialog without needing to click the knife?
- Love the "view log" option to review game text
- Room design is great, lots of details to create an interesting scene
- Character design is cool and quirky. Idle animation is a bit odd, feels like they are bouncing in place
- Would be nice to have a menu option to adjust text display speed (eg display all at once instead of having to repeatedly click, or slow down printout speed)
- Inventory is cute. I like the ability to read more about each item, gives the character instant personality
- Nice audio feedback when selecting options like backpack and options
- Navigation still is hard to manage. This might be nice mapped to a controller.
- Need a prompt telling me to use E to interact
- Annoying I have to go back for the phone, I had already tried exploring the dorm room and couldn't do anything
- Ahh, creepy cut back to video game!
- James looks way older than college-aged
- Narrative is interesting, but I think word choice could be punched up a bit to make it more compelling to read. Eg different speech patterns for different characters, more unique word choices, dialog feels a bit stiff/stilted
- Music would be nice to have in the background during this walking scene.
- Walking scene is a lot of info-dump, would be nice to have some interactive tutorial-style stuff here to keep the player engaged instead of just reading
- Great character designs, love how unique they all look. Ollie also looks a bit old with the tie and tie clip. Love Annie's tattoos and Victoria's freddy kreugar shirt
- Screen is black when Nick starts talking. Intended?
- The shift to handdrawn art is interesting. I like seeing the different characters in a less blocky way (also hadn't realized James was black, the lighting in the walking scene didn't make it clear enough), but it feels a bit jarring compared to the earlier art style we've seen a lot of. Maybe include some more handdrawn art earlier in the game or in places like the menu/options/pictures on the walls/etc to incorporate it in more and make the use of multiple art styles more cohesive
- Very cute character designs with the handdrawn art, I get a better sense of who they are through this. Love Nick's code shirt!
- Mansion scene design looks great! Love all the details I can immediately see, like the portratit on the wall, flowers, jukebox in the kitchen
- Victoria: "Guys this is the friends" - should be "the friend"
- Nick: "I've been working living here" - maybe "working and living"?
- Nice job giving the player a choice in what to do, feels like we needed something like this a bit sooner. Will there be a save point so I can come back and retry helping the other group?
- Nick: "I could definitely" should be "I could definitely use"
- Magazine is a great way to introduce lore in a more interactive, less lore-dumpy way. Nice work here.
- Music is nice, but doesn't quite match the vibe. Doesn't feel like party music, or quirky gamer music, or horror music. Being able to change it via the jukebox is nice!
- Found a journal entry in the bathroom (3/6) - Kinda gives away a bunch of the story here, I think. I probably wasn't meant to find this. I'm just wandering around and ended up here. Maybe guide me better towards the party setup tasks so I don't find this too soon
- Found the journal entry in the living room. I like this concept a lot, adds collection mechanics to lore backstory, but I think the journal writing could be improved a bit to feel more authentic and characterize Germain. Feels very on-the-nose - would someone writing a journal write this way, explaining out every detail like this?
- Part of the scenery is unskinned from some angles in the living room. There's a bright white section left of the flowers
- Still haven't figured out where I'm going. Would be useful to have something like an objective tracker on the left side of the screen with text like "Get beer from storage closet on east side of house" to help guide me
- Perspective in utility closet/laundry room is funky, can't really see what I'm interacting with nor can I see Victoria
- Lots of fun details in the closet with the fridge! Love the stuff on the shelves and the cute drawings on the fridge
- So are we drinking Germain's beer?
- Lol jumpscare from Ollie!
- Basement entrance highlight is on the ceiling, not around the door
- Beer name is confusing, Annie says they are called Pilsen Love? But backpack and zoom in shows them called Maguito Clasico. Cute kitty illustration on them!
- Wait, Annie's friend brews this beer? Why was it in Germain's fridge?
- Doorway to living room is missing texture and is bright white, after the scene where I get a beer
- Nick's "puzzle" objective feels very artificial. Text could be refined here to make this feel a bit more organic
- Love the cell phone lighting effect on 2nd floor!
- Ooh creepy phone call! Is it coming from inside the house? :P
- Phone call triggered again when I left the bedroom, but same dialog
- Should probably have some "too many tries" check for the password, could brute force it
- Phone rang again, but this time it's new dialog. I was ignoring it, thinking it was a bug after the repeated dialog earlier.
- ???: "Who won't you talk to me" - should be "Why won't..."
- Good use of the phone to give hints, but I have no idea where to go. It might be the camera perspective obscuring things to interact with, but I feel like I've tried interacting with everything I can on the 2nd floor. The frustrating navigation also makes it feel tedious to revisit places I've been.
- Oh, I was supposed to go downstairs? "Reach out for help" made me think I had to make a phone call or conduct an exorcism. There was no previous hint that Sam has a lockpicking hobby, so I only got the bobby pin by giving up and wandering around
- OMG I ONLY JUST NOW REALIZED I COULD USE THE MOUSE TO HELP NAVIGATE. I WAS SPINNING VIA WASD.
- Oh very glitchy when I use the mouse though. Resets camera a bunch, so I just keep walking back and forth
- Returning to 2nd floor, tried to unlock bathroom door. No popup when clicking E. Phone rang, repeat of the first phone call and THEN the "open the door" dialog appeared while inside the bedroom
- The Scream phone call repeated yet again. Then the 2nd call. Hitting the bedroom door seems to trigger a phone call and the sequence keeps resetting.
- Stuck unable to move after using right mouse to navigate. Alt tabbing seems to fix it
- Lol Nick jumpscare got me!
- Now....the phone is still ringing while Nick is right here....
- Lol, nice meta wink about the "budget to make a view"
- Right mouse isn't working anymore for turning while walking :( Seems unnecessary to send me to the top of the stairs and not just back to the party
- The handdrawn party scene lingers way too long, I can't seem to click past it?
- Nice detail to have jukebox music stop when lights go out
- Should the screen be black while Nick is telling me to turn on the breakers?
- Found another journal entry. The plot is fairly clear and not that mysterious, but I'm enjoying seeing the evolution.
- Cute animations in the video game cabinet. Wish I could play it as a minigame!
- Nice animation in the TV. Poor Nick :(
- Maybe it's another prank....THUMP. ROFL. Great timing!
- Aww James :(
- Stray animation of Victoria's hand is briefly shown when rewatching the TV after returning to the basement
- Why couldn't folks just go out the front door?
- In the studio now. Sam is following too closely, she's inside me
- Hot dog is gruesome!
- Nice tense music
- Hand holding the cell phone has become wonky, fingers in front of phone. Not as neatly animated as when visiting 2nd floor
- Unsure what to do. Camera angles and navigation make it really hard to easily explore and figure out where I have/haven't been. I think I've checked all the desks, also checked the lunchroom
- Who is Connie?
- Sam followed me and now I'm blocked in a cubicle. Had to rotate and make a ton of tiny movements to get her to move so I could escape
- I'm just walking in circles, clearly I'm missing something to make the game progress....
- How did I miss this entire hallway.... Was that door closed before?
- Lol monster statue jumpscare got me!
- Camera angles make it really easy to miss doors, almost missed a door in the eyeball hallway maze
- Hallway with blue eye needs another angle or more lighting or to be shorter, got stuck at the back and couldn't see which way I was walking, took a long time to navigate out
- Eye hallways is tedious, just lots of walking. Puzzle concept is cool, but getting the eyes is not very fun
- RIP dev team
- "The eyes I picked up..." text gets dull when it's repeated word for word so many times
- Upside down room is trippy! Nice and creative!
- Am I supposed to be able to get my keys?
- Game graphics become very pixelated and blurry when in the green eye room. I'm guessing this is intentional (entering the game from the intro?) due to the wall "breaking" which comes next
- Victoria: "I feel like I passed away..." - do you mean passed out? Passed away means dying
- Oh hai dere Germain
- Clicking through dialog experiences a brief freeze before Victoria finds the recorder
- This bit feels like lore-dump monologue. Writing could be punched up to be more dramatic and/or do something more dynamic like have the recording play over office speakers during a chase scene where the player flees from the entity
- Oh no, I'm next!
- Eww walking on Sam's body
- Oh, I guess I can't use E to interact with it, I'm ded :(
- Maybe have checkpoint be AFTER Sam's death
- Chase scene is really frustrating with how annoying navigation is, especially since I have to repeat the dialog every time
- Why can't I use the EMP right now?
- Ugh, I'm on like attempt 5 of this chase scene. Really frustrating and it's highlighting just how janky the movement controls are
- Seems I can run into the reception desk and entity won't follow, but as soon as I leave it gets me
- Guess if you fail enough the entity doesn't chase you?
- Entity's voice is cool
- lol MCE
- Ugh, not another chase sequence. Time to die a bunch more...
- Cool to be in the video game world. Music here could be punched up into something more thrilling
- Again, checkpoint should be at the start of the chase sequence, not before all the exposition
- Why can't I use the EMP yet...
- I'm guessing the white flash was me using the emp?
- 4th wall break at the end is very cool, but we're again getting into lore-dump monologue territory. The death of the author scene is cool, but overall the ending isn't hitting emotional beats because of how much we're just being TOLD
- Credits are PERFECT, as is the followup! Ends on a real high note! THIS is showing not telling! Try to harness that more through the story instead of dumping so much explanation on the reader
Overall, I think this was REALLY GOOD and I hope you guys continue work on this to expand it out into a commercial release. It's close!
Writing needs tweaking: first, punch up the dialog in a lot of places to make it more exciting to read. It comes across a bit stilted at times. Second, there's a lot of spots where we're just being TOLD stuff instead of shown it - part of the beauty of video game narrative is how much readers can be engaged into the storytelling, so a lot of the scenes feel flat because we're just reading without any input. Third, the plot itself is pretty predictable as the idea is a fairly well-trodden one. The overall story would benefit from a bit more mystery about what's going on, maybe through toning down the journal entries into more vague hints written from Germain's frustrated perspective - someone dealing with this wouldn't necessarily explain everything going on to himself. He'd already know, right? So the references could be more oblique. "Sheryl's upset. She doesn't get what we're trying to do here, how it will change the world" versus "Sheryl hates me using the military AI"
The camera angles and character navigation introduce tedious, frustrating elements which detract from overall gameplay, especially when some pivotal scenes rely upon using them deftly. IMHO, I think an overhaul of this system is really needed, because as-is, it undercuts the great core game you guys have made. The player should not feel like they are struggling with the game mechanics, especially when they end up having to replay parts because of that struggle.
Again, amazing work and I really hope you guys continue with this! It's a wonderful effort and with some more refinement and improvement it could make a great viral indie release!