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I really like the theme you explained in the description. The melody feels a little improvisational which makes the song a little hard to follow at times.

I particularly like the part that starts 56 seconds since that part feels the most like the desperate sadness you mentioned in your description.

it also reminds me of a club penguin song during that section for some reason I can't explain.

Well, that was a short ride down a rabbit hole of Penguin Club - I was a little old for Penguin Club apparently. Thanks for the complements.