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Thanks for leaving a comment. Sorry for the brutality but I’m glad you liked it 😉.

The reason I made those choices was because of the theme “consequences” and to tie it to the lore. The rise of the robot legions is the instigating incident in the narrative and as a consequence of the ruling elite sacrificing the lower classes they created the Dark Elf faction.

On reflection I suppose I could have cut the last bit out and have the consequence the parent and child die… but I was hoping that the reader might emphasize with the parents rage so the story might have a lasting effect.

(+1)

Haha don't apologise, I assume it was exactly the emotional response you were going for, and you nailed it!

As a parent I can say unequivocally that I empathised with the parents rage and revenge!! I think that's why the last bit was a bit odd as that emotional peak overshadowed the lore aspect (especially as I'm more into AoF!).

Anyway, loved the story, great job!

Yeah, looking back I could have cut the end, slightly expanded the bit about the rampage and the left over word count would have meant I could have saved some of the extra content I cut. Perhaps I should aim to finish on more of a climax next time.