Feels like a backstory to some kind of a sci-fi villain, which I absolutely love! The theme of the jam in not present enough, in my opinion, otherwise, good job.
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Can I get a chance to change your mind?
You're right it is an origin story, one for the Dark Elves. The story is set during the rise of the Robot Legion in Grimdark Future Lore. The High Elves intentionally cut off the escape routs for the poor so they could save themselves, as a direct "consequence" of that they created the Dark Elf faction which hates them.
So that's how, in my mind anyway, I thought it would fit into the Lore and meet the Theme of Consequences for the jam. The entire story is the consequences. Well that's what I was aiming for anyways :D
Now that you explain it here, I can see where it came from. However, that explanation should have been a part of the story. I must say that it is my fault for not remembering the lore of the Dark Elves, but you also should keep in mind that people without knowledge of the official lore might read your story.
I was considering that as I was writing it. I've seen quite a few stories drop a line or two for background, but it didn't seem right since the story was written from the first person perspective of someone that wouldn't be in possession of the full facts themselves.
Some people asked why I had the last part of him waking up on the ship, when the story would be fine ending with the parent going on a rampage. It's because getting off the world is what makes them a Dark Elf Raider. Perhaps I should have added a sentence about raiding and with the word dark at the end that would nod to that fact... but I didn't want to be too on the nose.
Anyways, thanks for taking the time to read and comment :D