Indie game storeFree gamesFun gamesHorror games
Game developmentAssetsComics
SalesBundles
Jobs
Tags

Grizlibier

41
Posts
1
Followers
1
Following
A member registered Jan 17, 2021 · View creator page →

Creator of

Recent community posts

My experience is quite alike to what SupNerds said. Very well done ending and flow of the story.

A lovely story! Very well described combat, I could almost FEEL it from reading it. Good job!

Thanks for your comment and kind words!

Good job on the ending. Everyone needs a bit of wholesomeness in their lives.

At first I was like "these sentences don't make sense!", but then I realized it was one huge poem! I'm not knowledgeable in prose in poems, but this is the most original take so far. Very well done.

Thanks for the reply!

To be honest, the poison was a last second add to make the reasoning of the character more clear, but your point is 100% valid. The commander could've felt dizzy because of it, maybe a stray description of someone collapsing.... But in the end, I'm happy you enjoyed the story and I hope that I'll be able to continue bringing joy to people every next jam I'll participate in!

Thank you!
The theme allowed me to put a twist for the positive instead for the negative, so I went with that. I'm certainly planning on continueing the series, but the story is completely dependent on what themes we'll get in the next jams.

Thanks for your reply!
Rats in OPR are relatively close to "good guys", so I tried to make them consistent in that regard. 

Glorious Rat-story. I could spot a typo every now and then, but it was clear enough.
Good entry, well done!

I have mixed feeling about this entry. From one side, it clearly follows the theme and is not just "oh no, our plan failed" but more of a "we were asked one thing but we end up doing something else because of it". On the other side, there are the dialogues which, to me, sound a bit dry. I feel like a lot of emphasis was put on those, so it's a bit of a pity. But overall, good job!

I didn't really understand what the star-thing was at the end, but I feel like it doesn't matter that much. What matters more is the flow of the story, which is very good in this case, and originality. Maybe make a sequel of this next time? 

Interesting read, though it wasn't always clear who's doing what.

The only work I read so far that reveals the theme very early on. Makes the work stand out and gives the time to explore the "what afterwards".
Well done!

Very interesting entry! Love how the story goes from "we fight each other because of coincidence" to "we coincidentally ended up working together". You also follow the theme well and the writing is clear and easy to read.
Well done.

I love my rats across all dimentions, galaxies and universes! Hahaha.
Thanks for the reply!

I'm not a drinking person either, but we might be onto something. Like mutual proofreading, for example ;) XD

Thanks for your rating.
As you pointed out, there were quite a few mistakes on my part when it came to grammar. This has never happened before and I am deeply ashamed. To receive such a high rating from you feels unreal, thanks again!
I also see that I can't access your story. May be because of the queue...

It has come to my attention that there are too many grammar errors in my entry. I'm extremely sorry for this.
It's unusual for me, but it looks like... The writing didn't go as planned, ahahaha. Anyway, beware the grammar.

First of all, well done Mr;Long XD XD
Anyway, I feel like some parts are a bit repetetive regarding names. Also, there are quite a lot of characters and since we have but one page to write on, I found myself double-cheking names because I just didn't know who that was again.
Regardless of that, it's still a solid submission!

Just like Medlock said, the story has a unique perspective. There are a few working points though. Some sentences feel like they end too soon, without relaying all the information they had to relay. 

Keep writing and iron your style out! Good job!

A good entry with a good story behind it. I spotted one typo but it didn't take away from the story itself. One thing though, I think it's a bit of a stretch in terms of adherence to the theme, but you score high for the story.
Well done!

Thank you! To be honest, at first I thought about writing it from the rats' point of view, but then I thought "this is too boring, I want to know what the humans are doing" and changed it.

Good twist at the end, but it was kind of predictable. Still, good job with this entry!

First submission I read and a good one from the get-go! Really liked the flow of the story and the ending. Chef kiss.
Well done!

Now that you explain it here, I can see where it came from. However, that explanation should have been a part of the story. I must say that it is my fault for not remembering the lore of the Dark Elves, but you also should keep in mind that people without knowledge of the official lore might read your story. 

Feels like a backstory to some kind of a sci-fi villain, which I absolutely love! The theme of the jam in not present enough, in my opinion, otherwise, good job.

Help, dear miner, I'm stuck!

The story itself is good enough, but there are some elements which make reading it confusing. Also, I don't really see how it ties into the theme of consequenses.
I'd say, try working on on the flow of the story and don't add cursive at random or inconsistently. I'm sure you'll be able to write a very good story next time!

Almost perfect, great job

I imagined Saint Bartholomew as a Mechanicus Magus once and the image won't leave my head. Good story though

Probably one of the few stories I'd rate 5/5 for flow. Very neatly done!

Thank you very much! I'm currently in the middle of writing a short series on a self-made universe, so in case you want to read the first few chapters, you can find those on my pixiv:
https://www.pixiv.net/novel/series/11737697
I posted only 3 chapters there, but the 4th and the 5th ones are almost done, so I'll probably post them in a week or two.

Thank you! Originally it was a bit longer, but I saw that there was a limit of 1000 words and had to trim it. Glad that it didn't feel rushed because of the trimming.

Did my best, hahaha

I like the theme of this story. Well done

That's a good one. One minor hiccup when introducing the second character, but other than that, good job!

Very tense, kept me reading without skipping any parts. Very well done!

Classic case of ambushing the ambusher, but executed well. Well-paced and great with explaining the info a reader might not know.

(4 edits)

Great! I currently try to run it on Ubuntu 20.04 with Wine, but it would definitely be a blast to have full-on support. Keep up the good work, we believe in you.

Edit: worked just fine with Wine64.

Edit 2: completed the demo and am really looking towards new developments!