I actually think that indicating the outcome directly in the option / choice is immersion breaking, as you seem to fear. So the exercise is more to try to telegraph (without directly telling) the consequences of the choice in the writing and language. It definitely is more difficult, and it's a balance between too little and too much information. If it feels you do have to be more explicit, then giving insight into the character's thoughts as to what could be the consequence of the decision is a way to allow yourself to say more without too much immersion-breaking.
I did try the combat. It was... honestly very confusing, I had no idea what I was doing, nor what the outcome was predicated on. But it was short enough in the overall story that it didn't feel game-breaking. This is probably not the outcome you were going for, though. My advice would be to simplify the mechanics drastically, if you want the game to remain story-oriented. If on the other hand you want combat to be an important element, then... this will need some rework.