The funny thing about this game is there isnt ENOUGH story for me lol. I kept thinking I was about to get the juicy goblin lore or elf lore and all I got were these damn sex scenes! Lol, but for real, where the game starts and where it ends up is so shocking in retrospect. I was expecting monster harem and got bizarre cross-dimensional violent drama. If I had to nitpick, you spent WAY more time talking about radio short hand than was necessary, like for real I felt like I actually got a job as a security guard and I was gonna be tested on the information at the end haha. Minor Spoiler: Idk if you originally planned on the goblins being basically the main characters but I'm glad you went that route. In fact I feel like if the game has a lesson it's that looks are often deceiving, which is a really refreshing way to introduce a bunch of well-known fantasy races
Distastey
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Really interesting story my dude. I appreciate the unique concept and the interesting character design. Sometimes there's a brand new crazy looking character you see for just a few renders which really adds life to the world: the Dark Ones aren't just anime girls, they are whatever they choose to be. Also, bold move to make a central character essentially an evil dictator (no hints as to who!) without automatically making them a straight up irredeemable villain. In fact almost none of the characters can be considered truly good in a traditional sense. Refreshing take on a genre
I feel like it's stated quite clearly that she is essentially a sociopath who is going to try to destroy the world. Her kin like wiped out most of humanity until the legendary heroes killed them. The main character is an absolute moron who does not see the writing on the wall. Which I think is why the game has the vibe it does, it's seen through the eyes of a total doofus. Which I honestly find charming
I feel like the game is missing a significant amount of prologue/intro material. It all happens too fast. It's like, all story and no character. The world you've created is fun, going all-in on a personal fantasy is great. No pretense, no false sense of reality, just pure fantasy. And the character models are cute.
But everyone is just too bland, too easy. I want a reason to pick a favorite character, I want the conflict with Morgan to be much longer and more intense, etc. The whole "can't be hurt here" thing ruins all sense of stakes, I think it would be interesting if his mom purposely made it a little dangerous. And having every girl be a neko also reduces individuality quite a bit.
It's got the bones of a great VN, just needs a lot of fleshing out IMO
Bro, my guy, the scene where you find out Atty's back story. SPOILERS:
You cannot just follow up a scene where she confessed to an attempted blackmail-rape from an owner, followed by waking up in a pool of her owm mother's blood, with an effing sex scene. To call that tasteless would be an insult to tasteless things. At least have a follow-up scene afterward where she makes some comment about how her work with the orphans has helped her forgive herself and heal from the trauma or something. My god dude, that was so jarring and off-putting.
I'm surprised to say this, but this game actually has TOO much plot lol. It's so surreal and confusing. There are so many characters that have such complicated relationships to each other, I was constantly forgetting who knew what and what the motivations for each person were. Like, did there really need to be 8 freakin families, each who will presumably have their own personalities? I felt like I needed a Pepe Silva pinboard to keep track of everything. The main character even has three different names.
Maybe not even a useful criticism, idk. I like the core story, and the characters are so odd and different. I like that the women aren't totally useless like in a lot of AVNs. Also appreciate the theme of technology having huge drawbacks to their advantages. Overall an interesting experience
Really pretty game, the aliens and such are very cool. Animations look really good. I feel like the McGuffin angle could be developed better, like when the MC asks at one point "Why am I even doing this," I was like... uh. Yeah, actually, good question lol. Just a small writing note, well-defined motives help develop the stakes and give weight to what happens to everyone. But the dialogue is great, characters are fun, and the little bits of lore add a lot to the overall universe. Enjoyed my time with this game
Really great writing my dude. Like zero criticisms. Your grammar and sentence structure is impeccable, and like, I wish that wasn't as much of a compliment as it is, but it's the state of the genre I'm afraid lol. I do occasionally wish the MC's anxiety issues played more of a role in the plot, he seems to have a terrible hero complex haha. But I really appreciate that the characters have actual problems. Too many plots from this genre are like, super low stakes? Or their problems are essentially solved with a few dollars and genitalia. Dialogue feels extremely natural, MC isn't a D-bag or a blank slate. I cannot imagine what kind of sick person would actually play without the hamster hints on though, I feel like that could be implemented a bit better? Maybe with a sound cue, or the little guy could glow a bit or something. Idk, but for me it wasn't a particularly enjoyable gameplay element. Also the fact that the beginning leads you to believe it will have elements of investigation where you have to find clues and then piece everything together, only for that element to be dropped entirely, was a bit disappointing. And also made the hamster bit even more strange as it's the only interactive aspect for 90% of the game.
But truly minor issues considering they are essentially bonuses. I feel very attached to the characters and like most of them. I feel like maybe you should stop introducing new characters soon, though? Just a bit overwhelming, there are like 30 characters at this point. I get all excited to learn more about a character and then 5 more characters are introduced with their own unique issues. The MC's life has such an insane amount of attention from so many different people. Maybe that's just me though, idk. Overall, one of the best AVN out there right now, you should definitely be proud of what you've accomplished so far
I really enjoyed the variety of characters you have. They are all quite likable in their own way. The meta popularity contest is also a pretty funny and unique idea, helps remind the player it's a game in constant production, gaining more and more followers. Plus seeing where your favorite ranks is a cool little sidebar.
One thing I noticed in your description that seems common among AVN creators and always leads down the same path: no end goal. My New Family did it, Dating My Daughter did it. The problem is you always run out of conflicts that define each character and it becomes a slog of lewd scenes followed by saccharine, meaningless drivel dialogue. If you get enough popularity, people will follow your next project. Nobody likes to see their favorite show turn into The Simpson's and never know when to end. If you actually give satisfying conclusions to characters, it gives the audience a much better overall experience
This no longer really runs on my Gen 7 android phone. Not sure which update did it, used to work fine. Crashes about every ten minutes or less. Not a complaint exactly, I don't expect everything to run on this dinosaur. Just something to point out. Great game, disappointed I can't see how it's developed
Pretty interesting game. First what I liked about it. The writing is clearly very well thought out. I cant even imagine how many tens of thousands of words this whole game must contain. The 90s style aesthetic works quite well, looks very unique. And the mix of deep politics and sex makes for a pretty cool experience.
But the gameplay loop gets a little stale after 50 cycles. And it feels like its purposely evasive about how you are actually meant to play, such that I cant imagine anyone winning on their first try (when the game is complete of course). It sort of sells itself as a "choose your own adventure," but there are absolutely incorrect ways to play. But my biggest complaint is the fact that, after I looked in the gallery, I realized it would take so many playthroughs to unlock everything. When a single play through takes something like 5 hours, theres just absolutely no way anyone will ever unlock everything. The MC is so realistically portrayed as a naive princess that shes just not lovable enough to spend 25 hours with her doing the same basic task over and over again.
Its certainly not a bad game. But not my cup of tea
Quite simply one of the best AVNs ever made. Cannot think of a real criticism. The animations are unbelievable for RenPy and the genre as a whole, looks amazing. The polish in general is just so good. Even the fact that its essentially a game about romantic LARPing but doesnt feel cringe or out of touch in the least. Dude definitely earned all 3500 of his patrons, cut his teeth on one of the best AVNs ever and stepped up his game twofold for this one.
I feel like at a certain point the MC totally forgets that hes seducing his own daughter, whom he was kinda crappy to and never bothered to get to know. At the beginning he says he tried his best with his kids, but like, thats clearly a lie, he didnt try at all lol. Nobody seems to care that hes dead, which actually makes a lot of sense after you get to know his kids.
Maybe its weird but I kinda would have appreciated a real acknowledgment that he was an awful father and he did 10x as much for his kids when his life was on the line, which is really pretty selfish. But for some reason most MCs in AVNs are garbage human beings, so at least we get some context here. Overall, would recommend, an interesting idea for fantasy fulfillment
I was enjoying this game pretty much, until I got to the first full investigation. Then I loved it! I just finished the church portion. It wasnt too difficult but it wasnt too easy either. Maybe its actually impossible to fail, if so I dont care. It makes you really consider the evidence and weigh personalities against what you're told. It felt very satisfying to complete. Regardless of the rest of the game, that alone makes it a 10/10
Just a small issue. If you speak to the waitress after you build the diner, but before you actually enter it, you can trigger her mission to break into the restaurant. But then when you finally go into the diner, it triggers the mission again, but it cannot be completed since the door is already unlocked
I definitely understand the game is in early days so to speak. But Ive gotta say, the current game is interesting but not fun. I really appreciate the humor and lore, its a fun take on spirituality and magic in a fantasy world. Plus strangely charming art. But the gameplay is one step away from from an idle clicker. Its essentially just grinding out arbitrary stats for arbitrary titles. After the first death loop I just couldnt be bothered to keep playing. It feels like a writer and an artist got together but forgot to consult a game designer. Just my personal opinion, certainly have no expertise
Absolutely phenomenal. Considering how complicated the game is compared to an AVN, it runs crazy smooth. No broken quests, everything works well, the minigames are fun. And the pixel art is just *chef's kiss*. The last scene with Amber is a true masterpiece. If I had to pick a criticism, some of the pixel art looks like its from 1991 and some of it is absolutely gorgeous, I appreciate you cant take 12 hours on every frame but some of the stills looked a touch... meh. But I take it that every one is built from scratch so I cant really complain, like holy crap
Very unique and well done. Definitely deserves its description, the only way to describe it is as a psychedelic melodrama. And the MC is somehow a total douchebag but also completely loveable? Not sure how you managed that, but making him a caricature of a human(ish) being gave this a completely original vibe that I really enjoyed. To change a single stroke (giggity) would ruin this bizarre AVN. I feel like you could totally release a PG13 version and people would love it. Definitely not for someone who hates whimsy or suspending disbelief but for me, 10/10 experience
Yeah, a nitpick but its quite clear Carol is your gf and everyone else is toys. Which actually starts to feel kinda crappy, especially when Sara starts to fall for you. When her back story is literally her life being ruined by a two-timing asshole. The alternative is making you play the game 8 times for each girl, which would suck. But for such a great guy the MC is a straight up player
This game deserves 5 stars just for the music, like some of it is legit fire. I could nitpick stuff here and there, but really its a fantastic VN. Gorgeous women, excellent balance of character development and sex. Really enjoyed my time with these girls, they feel like real people (if slightly shallow). They have like problems normal 19 year old girls have, not overblown or under done.
But... The overarching story of Max and the school president is a little... patchy lets say. Like, gigantic story dump halfway through the novel, but it has little to no effect on the vibe and consequences. And the spy den, complete with tech guy and hot girl, is like way too intense for the MC to get involved with. He literally gets punched for being a perv and now he wants revenge? Enough to put himself and loved ones in mortal danger? And Vlad is somehow a moral compass and a rich douchebag at the exact same time. And the MC has literally no skills at anything but sex yet is somehow helping play detective? Needs serious story development work, feels tacked on and somehow both too consequential and inconsequential at the same time.
But considering the sometimes deep-seated issues many AVNs have, including extremely dark consent issues, overall this is very fixable
The museum grind was unnecessary, and the puzzle slider can die in a fire. But considering those are both just creative choices, I must say its an extremely competent game. The movement is smooth as butter, the missions have clear objectives that all work perfectly. A little diversity would have been appreciated in the writing. Consists of sl*ts, tsundere, and MILFs, and thats pretty much it. But it doesnt seem to be intended as a character-focused game, so thats a minor complaint. Really fun play through
Very interesting choice to really deep-dive into the dynamic of this relationship. The character of Chuck was an unexpected addition, really not splitting hairs with his purpose in the story lol. I think it might have been cool to give Petal a real reason to be so self-concious, she really gives off "excessively hot nerd that nobody notices for some reason in a rom-com" vibes. Like an eating disorder could have created an interesting dialogue. Just would have helped me with my immersion a little, but I get that she has to be super hot for the purposes of the game. The fact that you stare the main issue of the taboo relationship so starkly in the face was enough to get my approval though. Great work!
Your blurb could not have done a worse job "selling" this VN. You've created an extremely compelling, if slightly predictable, story. The dialogue is flawless, youve captured the MC's malaise so well it feels like I work with these idiots. Having (basically) four characters gives you a real sense of the dynamics between each person, developing their personality. You developed the romance without absolutely kicking a dead horse like a certain very popular AVN on this site. The sex feels somehow tasteful? Im at chapter 8 and had to come leave a comment. Very impressed by your work
This game is like the most perfect sick and dark AVN. It really encapsulates the feeling of enjoying the perversion but feeling guilty about it. The MC is a straight up sociopath, but you control him so what does that make you? The kind of story that could only be told properly in the form of a video game.
Super odd how the first like hour of gameplay leads you to think its gonna be another trashy, shallow harem AVN. And then its like it changed authors suddenly and its this weirdly political and socially aware game. I can honestly say I like every character, but holy crap the thumbnail character is the greatest waifu of all time. Great job mate, even as is its quite a satisfying experience
If the world map is any indication, its a pretty huge stretch to call this a version 0.5. Game isnt even close to halfway done. But the art is 11/10, script is free of any awkward dialogue or grammar mistakes, and the MC is actually a good person without being a weird simp which is strangely rare in AVNs. Enjoyed my time in this little world
Would you ever consider adding a patch to remove the, ehem "childhood friend" stuff? I understand that patreon has gotten super strict with that stuff, but Ive seen other AVN add the option to set what a character's relationship is, or simply add a patch to fix the dialogue. Its an extremely well written game, which makes it very immersive. But that one aspect really took me out of it, in my head I have to replace the awkward phrasing and its hard to ignore. Just a thought. Otherwise its amazing. Unique art style, cool story, surprisingly engaging gameplay loop for how simple it is. Really enjoying it