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george_the_crab

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A member registered Jun 06, 2020 · View creator page →

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*smears your mouth with jam*

remains as an amazing insight into sleep deprived mind of the 90's adventure developers

swimming is more useful here than in all of the immersive sim genre combined 




no escape

orb 

Ms Finster punched me so hard I regressed back to being 13 year old, guaranteeing another wave of school flashback nightmares for years to come 

Man Records Tornado That Destroys His Home/Kills Wife

Hobo dies in the end 

LKTVJRQEP[35IO2]C I CAN'T FINISH 4TH LEVEL THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE CUZ 

MY MOUSE IS PRONE TO DOUBLE CLICKING ITS A DEFECTIVE MODEL(logitech g502) + I KEPT SMASHING IT FROM ANGER ISSUES (not from this game) SO THE BUTTON GREW MORE DEFECTIVE (can't afford new mice this one was from allowance) KEPT FALLING OFF THE EDGE EVERY SINGLE JUMP CUZ THE BUTTON IS DEFECTIVE, I COULDN'T TELL IF IT CLICKED OR NOT TO TIME THE JUMPS WITH THE TRACKING, SO I TOLD MY LIL BRO PHILLIP (my bro is 6) TO TRY THIS GAME AND HE LITERALLY COULD NOT HANDLE THE MOUSE CUZ HE'S MORE USED TO THE Logitech Trackman Marble (dad also used this cuz he bought it since it looked more like an actual mouse = it's better (dad logic).) I GOOGLED AND YOU CAN CONNECT 2 MICE AT ONCE SO WE CAME UP WITH THIS STRATEGY: SINCE ONLY THE LEFT BUTTON IS DEFECTIVE, WE WOULD COOPERATE AND SYNCHRONIZE LEFT AND RIGHT MOVEMENT AND JUMP WITH THE COUNT OF THREE (I was the one steering) BUT ON THE SECOND ATTEMPT AFTER VERBALLY ABUSING MY BROTHER FOR EXACTLY 5 MINUTES, MY MOM CALLED FOR DINNER (maccaroni and tuna, not tasty at all) AND ON THE THIRD ATTEMPT ON A COUNT OF THREE MY BRO GOt SO EXCITED THAT HE EXHALED SO MUCH TUNA VAPOR BREATH INTO MY NOSTRILS IT MADE ME (physically) CRINGE AND UNABLE TO STEER. I ORDERED HIM TO GO BRUSH HIS STUPID PIANO TEETH PLAYING BROWN NOTE EQUIVALENT AND THAT DUM BASTARD GONE AND ATE A PACK OF TOOTHPASTE CUZ HE WAS LAZY, THEN CAME BACK SWEATING AND MUMBLING WORDS AND I PUNCHED HIM FOR FAKING SO HARD AND CHICKENING OUT BUT THEN HE SHOWED HIS POKÉMON SMOOCHUM LIPS AND WE HAD TO CALL AN AMBULANCE AND THE DOCTOR SAID HE HAS AN ALLERGY FOR THAT SPECIFIC TOOTHPASTE CUZ IT WAS UNCLE'S SINCE HE WERE HERE THE LAST TIME AND I THOUGHT HE POISONED THE TOOTHPASTE BUT MY BROTHER IS JUST STUPID, THEY SAID THERE'S 1 PERCENT ALLERGY CHANCE FOR TOOTHPASTE, MY BRO WON THE STUPID LOTTERY. (he now hates me cuz I ordered him but he's stupid)

IAM SO MAD I CAN'T BEAT IT CUZ YOU HAVE TO BE A GOD TO BEAT THAT LEVEL