itch.io

I agree with you. The fact that every single character is awful and irredeemable makes this game hard to like.

The wife is also a horrible person. She can lie to herself as much as she wants, justifying that she’s not cheating as long as she’s not holding a dick in her pussy, while David is genuinely trying his best to be a good husband. Yet, she has the nerve to treat him like trash for something he didn’t even do.

At this point, I just hope one of the endings in this game is David realizing that Anna is a toxic person who isn’t worth his time. He should take his daughter, leave, and start over far away from everyone he knows—except his father, who’s the only one genuinely on his side. Otherwise, I don’t see myself continuing to read this visual novel.

I appreciate that you take feedback well. I don’t mean to discourage you, but based on your response, the input does sound like the game is irredeemable and did sound like I am trying to discourage you. 

It could also be that I’m accustomed to different styles of writing for character development and world-building—authors like Torimiata (Blurring the Walls), HangoverCa (The Edge Of), Caribdis (Eternum), and BCG (Moonripple Lake) to mention some. While I’m not saying they’re perfect, they excel in one or more areas like pacing, character backgrounds, motivations, and cohesive world-building.

In their stories, events feel interconnected—things happen because something meaningful triggered them, not arbitrarily. For example, extreme scenarios like a wife being tied up and abandoned on a train with random strangers feel implausible without proper buildup. Similarly, a scenario where the wife secretly works as a sex worker or waitress at night while telling her husband she’s at home in bed feels inconsistent, especially when her goal is to help him get out of jail and he's the one who asked her to join the night shift. There’s no clear reason for her to hide this from him. That’s what I meant when I said, “His wife and her child are portrayed as overly promiscuous without any depth or nuance.”

That said, if you’ve built a community that appreciates your story for what it is and how you’re currently writing it, my feedback might not be as helpful as intended. I also understand that not every story will appeal to everyone, and I can live with that.

I enjoy reading, and I can be a bit picky about what I read. Even so, I want to commend you for being receptive to feedback. If I came across as harsh, that was never my intent. Keep up the good work!

Amm... Hi. The character limit in Discord makes it difficult to provide detailed feedback, so I’m writing it here instead. I suggest creating a new channel in your Discord server specifically for feedback, without character limitations. This would make it easier for players to share their thoughts in detail and help you gather more actionable items for improving your game.

Feedback:

I just finished playing your game on Android, and I wanted to share some honest feedback. While I understand that this is an early-access title, there are several issues that significantly hinder the experience. I hope this critique helps you improve the game and move it in a better direction.

1. The Story

The story is one of the game’s weakest points. The pacing is awkward, the events feel forced and unnatural, and the overall narrative lacks cohesion or believability. As an adult game, it’s neither engaging nor erotic, which is disappointing. The NTR element feels like it’s there just for the sake of being NTR, rather than a natural development of the story. It lacks depth and purpose, which makes it frustrating rather than compelling.

2. Length and Writing

The story is extremely short. I understand this is an early release, but it took me about an hour to finish, and most of that time was spent enduring poorly written dialogue. The pacing is uneven, and the narrative feels rushed and underdeveloped.

3. Characters

The characters are another major issue. None of them are likable or relatable. Everyone comes across as morally questionable, and the protagonist is particularly weak in character and unremarkable. He’s easily manipulated, lacks agency, and has no redeeming qualities that would make a player want to root for him.

His wife and her child are portrayed as overly promiscuous without any depth or nuance, and Bella's infatuation with the MC feels baseless and unrealistic. There’s no meaningful backstory or context to ground any of the characters, which makes the entire cast feel flat and unconvincing. And the worst of them is Jesse, the MC's best friend.

4. Tone and Setting

The tone of the game is inconsistent. Despite the MC being in prison, none of the characters (including him!) seem to acknowledge or take the situation seriously. Instead, the narrative dives straight into adult content, which feels jarring and out of place. It comes across like a stereotypical and shallow adult film plot (e.g., "pizza delivery man meets a horny girl"). This undermines any potential for an immersive or engaging experience.

5. Patreon Paywalls

The way you’ve implemented the Patreon paywall is off-putting. Blocking parts of the game with a code feels scummy and disrupts the flow of the game. While I personally had no trouble obtaining the code, the process is frustrating and unnecessary. It leaves a bad impression, especially for a game that’s in its infancy and struggling to find its footing.

My suggestion is to avoid releasing a version of the game that requires a code to the public. Instead, provide a full version to your patrons through Discord or Patreon directly, and release a free, unrestricted version to the public that offers a glimpse of the game without hitting a paywall or releasing the full game after one month of the patrons having it. 

Your game is still in the early stages, and it shows. However, the approach you’re taking—both with the paywall and the overall quality of the game—makes it difficult to justify supporting it. To build a loyal player base and gain support, focus on improving the quality of the story, characters, and overall writing. Avoid using tactics that make you look like a scumy developer just looking to milk patrons.

I understand the importance of financial support for developers, and I’ve supported others who’ve earned my trust because their games feel worth it. They create products that are polished and engaging, and they come across as genuine and passionate about their work—not just about the money.

I hope you take this feedback as an opportunity to improve. I want to see this game succeed, but it has a long way to go.

Hi, I noticed that the Android version doesn’t enter full-screen mode upon opening. As a result, the navigation buttons at the bottom of the screen interfere with the in-game icons, which can be quite frustrating.

That solved it! 

Thank you so much, and Happy New Year!

I’ve encountered a bug in the Android version of the game. In the in-game phone chats, the main character’s text is not displayed. Instead, it appears as blue squares.

Device Model: Xiaomi Redmi Note 11 Pro

Operating System: Android 15

I appreciate you taking the time to respond. It’s all good—I downloaded everything and realized Chapter 3 already includes Chapters 1 and 2. Awesome game, by the way!

Are Chapters 1, 2, and 3 separate downloads? To clarify, if I download Chapter 3, does it include Chapters 1 and 2, or are they not included?

The Android version is completely ready! The developer has decided to release it with the new chapter soon.

I don't have a PC. Unfortunately. Can we get an Android or Mac version, please?

Keep playing. The situation will unfold in a funny yet interesting way.

I know this is categorized as a porn game, but honestly, it’s so much more than that. This is the first game of this genre I’ve ever felt comfortable sharing with my friends, simply because of how beautifully the relationships and moments are portrayed. What you’ve created, from Alex’s Grandma, Nancy’s backstory, to Penelope, and the beach scene with Dalia—it's all incredible. And don’t even get me started on how amazing Chang is as a character. Every single person in the game feels so real, and the way you weave their memories into these heartfelt scenes... wow, it’s just breathtaking. 

I love how you slowly build towards the more intimate and romantic moments, and how each character’s feelings and thoughts truly matter—it’s all so captivating. The interactions feel natural and meaningful, and the pacing is just perfect.

I’ve been following your work for a few years now, ever since I stumbled upon Once in a Lifetime, and now with Eternum you’ve set the bar for me when it comes to both storytelling and the quality of visuals.

Your writing never gets old. I laugh, I get emotional, and I genuinely care about these characters and their lives. You’ve managed to make me forget this is even a porn game, and instead, it feels like a beautiful mix of very hot romance, comedy, and adventure.

Thank you for sharing your incredible work with the world. You’re truly a gifted storyteller, Caribdis.

To enhance the game, I believe adding actually drawn background characters would make a significant difference. Currently, the game feels too isolated, with only the main characters present. This is particularly odd for a game that relies heavily on exhibitionism to drive the story. 

Having played the game multiple times, I've noticed a few flaws, but the most glaring issue is the emptiness of the world. It feels strange that only the main characters exist. 

For example, in the final part where they meet the super-rich guy who throws a toga party, the route where the girl gets painted is the only section that feels populated. However, even then, the lack of drawn characters makes it feel incomplete and strange.

Adding more background characters would create a more immersive and believable world. Add them everywhere as part of the background, and specially in those moments when the exhibitionism sections are triggered have the background characters interacting with such scenes as well, such as staring at the situation, running away, attempting to grope the girls, approaching to see from a closer distance and muttering a few words of excitement, disgust, annoyance, hornyness, or have them take a picture of the girl and let the main characters choose how to behave now that the situation has changed, etc etc. 

You can play a lot with this. And it's going to significantly improve the experience of the player.

By the way, I decided to start supporting you after playing this game a couple times. I believe your work and your skills are well worth it. 

I have to say, this game is amazing. I do have a few suggestions, though. The character models' hands seem a bit small compared to their overall proportions. Adding improved jiggle physics to the animations would enhance realism, and incorporating better lighting and shadows on the character models could make a big difference.

Aside from that, you're incredibly talented, and I'm really glad I came across this game.

Thank you for creating and sharing your game with us.

Earning money is not intuitive, the dialogues are fun to read but there are few images compared to the text. The time between work and dialogue sequences is not optimized, it feels like the game artificially increases the time for each story sequence to play out. The work part is the worst part of this game, it is too repetitive and gets old quickly.

I'm not trying to give you a negative review just because. I think you have a great talent, not only for coding but also for writing, however, the experience is not cohesive at all, which lowers the quality of the game. The game is not bad, the execution could be much better.

Why didn't you go the extra mile and add random background NPCs instead of having completely blacked-out character models as background NPCs? I don't get it... and you even sold the game on Steam/GoG and everywhere else this way. It just feels low quality like you don't care at all. 

WOW, I have to say I had very low expectations, if any, especially since I knew the drawings were assisted by AI. However, I am speechless by how good your writing is. There are a few things you could improve, such as some parts not making sense. For example, Ayumi touches the MC's dick in public to confirm he's telling the truth, but somehow none of the other characters notice. This seems unrealistic, especially in the early parts of the game when none of them are as daring as they gradually become. Despite that, I have to say, I love your writing. It's nearly perfect, a 9/10—the best I've seen in years.

I'm so happy I randomly came across your game. Even though NTR is not my thing, I can't believe how much I enjoyed your writing.

Jestur is extremely good at increasing the hype and the lowering the patience for the next updates!!

the controls seriously suck...

but the art is awesome, but it's so pointlessly hard to climb walls like Ninja Gaiden does, or the fact that when you stop moving the character slides a bit forward. ´

Overall, the controllers could've been more intuitive and responsive. 

I see what the problem was. If you don't kill that ghost that gives you the blue flame, then the skeleton door won't turn on letting you pass.

The game should at least give you a hint about this... x_x

It just doesn't let me get through.

How do you pass stage 2? I got the fire and ice spray paints, I got the chest with rewards, the max life potion. I am sick of this level; I've been to every single corner, and I just can't get the skeleton door to recognize me and let me pass. 

How do you pass stage 2? I got the fire and ice spray paints, I got the chest with rewards, the max life potion. I am sick of this level; I've been to every single corner, and I just can't get the skeleton door to recognize me and let me pass. 

I must say it's a good game with potential to be a great game. 
If you don't mind, I have a few suggestions:

1. Make the tool bar at the bottom something you can toggle off/on, it takes up too much space, and the options are redundant as you can do exactly the same through the menu tool provided.  I see no reasons to have it there.

2. Improve or change the dialogs after interacting with objects in game. If you interact with an object and get an item from it, interacting with the same object shouldn't say something "oh, let's see if I find something again here" or "no nothing, better luck next time". 
It only makes the MC sound like his brain didn't develop, which is weird because the perception you're trying the girls to have of this guy is the one of an impressive and smart guy.  His dialogs should be more aligned to his character image, traits, personality and intelligence.

3. If you are looking for a particular object to solve a puzzle that you previously interacted with, once you find that object, the dialog shouldn't say "oh I wonder what this knob door is for?". I mean.... it's like, it's common sense, right? If you know what you're looking for, then after you find it the dialog should be like "okay, finally I found what I need to open the freezer or solve the puzzle, or let's see if I can use this to open the door, etc" instead of a dumb thing such as "oh I wonder what this door knob is for?".  Still, it's the same as in point number 2, the dialogs do not reflect the apparent personality and character traits the girls are seeing in the main character.

4. Sam appears in the coffee room right before the freezer puzzle. I can't interact with her at all, but if I go to the changing room, I will have a chance to see her there naked. There is NO consistency with the positions of the girls.  This RNG system should be rethought because you're telling a story and knowing that you just saw Sam in a room just to see her magically popping up in a different room breaks the entire "immersion".  All you can think of is "ah right, the game is doing a game thing". 

5. The music is awesome, it sets the mood, but by default it should be lower volume than 50. Otherwise, it just gets tedious after a while. Or just add more music to the library. 

6. Interacting with Objects should give you some sort of feedback, such as when taking pictures of the ghosts, the first thing you should realize is that there's a ghost and that you should take a picture, through a dialog or something, or maybe a previous explanation from Sam. It took me like a whole hour to realize that's what you wanted the player to do.  Also, there should be a real reason behind taking these pictures, it just feels like a filler mechanic rather than a thing you are encouraged to do.  What do you take picture of ghosts for? Those pictures can't even be accessed through the main menu.

7. The game has issues when you first run it on Windows. The the game window is not centered by default. So, you gotta either manually move it every time you open the game or go to pref → set game to full screen. That's something easy to fix, guys.

8. When you interact with the monitors where you're supposed to see what the cameras captured, it does not show anything. I gather the game is incomplete, but at the very least it shouldn't be an interactive object until there's a reason to interact with it.  Maybe the cameras should be used to spy on the girls and know where they're exactly at any given time, or maybe random ghosts should appear there, it could be a tool for learning more about the girls by eavesdropping on their private conversations. 

9. When you hide the HUD in the game because you want to fully see the girls during the events when they're naked, if you click anywhere again to un-hide it, the text will skip to the next dialog, which is annoying as you could miss a line or two, and the whole point of this game is the story. 

10. The HUD is way too big. The buttons next to the DIALOG box take too much space, there's no need for that. You can replace the button text with icons.  However, the 3 options on the top right-hand side of the screen are very well thought and designed. Also, the icon where you can change mouse modes is unnecessarily big, it takes so much space that it becomes annoying when exploring the areas because the HUD simply hides a lot of the image that you're supposed to pay full attention to. 

11. Please, add a shortcut to change between mouse modes, like pressing the button Z, tab or something.

12. Add an explanation of what you need to do with the mouse modes. It took 2 hours, for real, 2 hours to figure out that there was a symbol that granted you enough strength to open the garage door. I thought the game was buggy because there were no hints pointing out to that. I thought the lense was just to see through the girls' clothes.

13. Change the "Auto" default speed, nobody reads that fast.
First time I used it I missed part of the story.  Also, the "Skip" and "Auto" buttons should NOT remain on after the scene has ended because when you try to interact with another object, it skips through the whole conversation. I see now why the tool bar was added at the bottom of the screen... but, then that's a bad design with the Auto/Skip feature.  If you fix the root cause of something, it can lead to disabling another unnecessary thing put in place to fix it such as the tool bar, granting more space to the image to be better viewed by the player.

14. Certain objects are intuitive for their use, such as the Axe in the Loading Room. It could be used to break the glass where the toy is. It could be used to pry open the freezer door, the janitor door, it could even be used to open the garage door. If you have an item that anyone with half a brain would think of using for purposes other than what the game actually needs, then the item should be replaced with something more specific.
I don't know what the Axe is needed for later in the game, but definitely it's counter intuitive to have an Axe within your arms reach and having the game blocking you from using it through a simple dialog. I think this kind of objects should be better thought out. Remove it or make it so that it can't be so easily reached, or let it be an item to solve different problems, as a normal person would. 

15. Cadet disappears from the entire mall making it so that the only moment you can see her is in the RNG changing room. That definitely could see some improvement. Have her wandering around in the bathrooms where there's OBVIOS paranormal activity. Or sitting in front of the computers. Her character trait is that she's clumsy as fuck, then she should be somewhere she can't break things like in the Loading Room. Every girl should be always visible by the player. Otherwise she's just like another ghost. 

16. In the game menu → girls and ghosts' sections, instead of "blacking out" the remaining girls/ghosts' tiles, their tiles should just be invisible. That way you won't spoil that there's just 1 more girl left to find or that there's only 3 ghosts in the game. The story is the main drive of this game, don't break it or add things that turn the story into a "meh, I knew it" thing. Every section of the story should always be a surprise for the reader, otherwise it becomes boring and predictable.
You don't have good CG, you don't have a good reason behind the girls liking the MC, you don't have a good plot either, so the story right now is an average 5/10. So, focus on the things you guys can work on, if you can't make better sex events where there's actually more than 1 frame per 50 lines of dialog, then focus on making those 50 lines so good that it doesn't matter that the MC character ejaculated after a single frame of a demon touching his dick. 

Alright, those are my thoughts on this game. It made me feel frustrated a couple times because it's a game reminding me that it could've been better designed and developed if a bit of common sense was added during its development. 

I hope these points I took the time to write can help you better tailor the experience you're trying to create for your players. 

Great work, keep it up.