Rating wise:
So far ill give a 4.3/5
Comments (no spoiler):
I like the uniqueness of the story so far, The characters seem at least fleshed out and not cookie cutter styled (something often hard to do with a demo), The writing is well done although - personal opinion - I think some of the scenes could use a bit less flowery language and less extra information as it feels as though it creates "bumps" in the flow of the narrative
Critiques:
The art so far looks good but it all seems to come from different sources creating a bit of clash on screen, i am at this time unsure of how sprites/CGs/BG is sourced AND being that this is a DEMO AND FIRST RELEASE it is expected that the art would not represent the final product yet...
Although it was not put under the "critique" section, in my "comments" portion speaks of writing flow for dialogue and narration...
Characterization wise, its still too early to tell but the on screen characters seem to personality shift throughout the story which can be slightly jarring; however, in this demo A LOT happens, so it is expected to see a wide range of characters' personality and reactions to events. i think more "down time" content between major arcs in the story may help add time to explain new ideas to the reader and help with the story flow, TLDR of this critique- the story flow seems a bit rushed and could use a little more pacing to ease the reader into new events
Bugs:
A few times while I was reading this (impressively long) demo, I came to portions where the script would repeat itself. I think it may just be a simple mistake or something wonky with the script code, but I read the same set of scenes twice- first with the OG background then after with a new background (and once with a sprite)
All in all, this VN is unique in story and design, I liked the demo a lot and will be keeping an eye out for more content! For a first release, this VN pulled a "Devils Gambit" and released what seems to be 2 long or 3 short chapter releases when compared to most other VN releases all at once (HELL YES CONTENT <3) The VN developer has done something impressive with a small team (possibly solo, as i don't see links to team members)... and if this is the developers first ever VN, the feat becomes even more impressive. <3
Edits: had to rearrange some stuff because my single braincell couldn't create a cohesive paragraph.... >.<