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Veterans of the Garden

You are a war beetle in stealth missions to steal sugar. All other insects want the same and will try to kill you. · By Guilherme Gontijo

Show me typos here! Sticky

A topic by Guilherme Gontijo created Apr 30, 2020 Views: 486 Replies: 14
Viewing posts 1 to 7
Developer (1 edit)

Hey, everybody!


I hope you are having fun with VotG! As you all know, my first language is Brazilian Portuguese. That means maybe you'll find one (or a few) typos in the English Version, sorry! This is a space created to show me these typos so I can correct them and you have a perfectly written game in your hands.

Thank you!

Page 7:

  • Commandment #2 should read "Playable...".
  • Commandment #4 would be more idiomatic as "There are no levels....".
  • Commandment #8 has typos in the first sentence - "Flying attracts cats immediately...."
  • I would re-phrase or explain commandment #9 further. Something like "Each of the characters must have their moment in the spotlight during the adventure...."
  • Commandment #10 has a syntax error - "Each point of damage..."

Page 8:

  • The paragraph starting "Carcoris do not fight to the death." is repeated.
Developer

Thank you! Corrected those! I'll update the new files in the weekend!

Page 10-11:

The two sides of coins are known as Heads (note the -s) and Tails.

"succeed" is written with 2 Es, and you succeed IN an action. However, my advice would be to write "...the player is successful", instead of "...the player succeeds in the action."

Instead of "In Resume", which does not make sense in English afaik, consider "In Brief", or "In a Nutshell".

Developer (4 edits)

Thank you again! Already fix it! I'll wait some hours to upload the new files cause I'm almost sure new typos will appear somewhere. English is a hard language! Thank you so much again!

I've just sent you a free Boschtiary by e-mail in gratitude!

Thank you. I replied via email, but I'm not sure you've got it. The gift is really cool. Keep up the good work!

I've reported all the typos and problematic phrasings I found.

Developer

I saw it, thank you very much for your help!
I'll fix the text right now and send it to everybody!

page 13:

"...a kind of bird that seems to have no feelings."

"...steal some food for the wounded."

"A human child silently enters the kitchen..."

"...sacks some Elixir cubes." Possibly takes, steals, snatches?

"...hearing a Carcori approach, the human child .... the Elixir jar open."

"...the safe thing to do is not to fly..."

Developer

Done.

page 14:

vociferous voice Possibly loud, clamouring, powerful?

"...he tells of the life he lead..."

"...the worst is already in the past" Consider already behind them instead.

Developer

Done.

Page 15:

"But you stop in fear: the cut-off heads of dark ants..."

"...trust on the ant..." in or nothing

Developer

Done.

Page 19

Instigate their imagination. Perhaps fire, capture, or stimulate works.

Developer

All done. Thank you very much!