On the day I took up my sword I knew what I had to do..

The tyrannical fruit, known only as the berry of straws,
had oppressed my people since harvest..

So sticky were our houses and streets in the wake of its terror,
that all our shortcakes were made to blush..

Were it not for my trusty shield, I, too, would be caked in its vile juices..

"Have at thee!" I raised my sword,
"In the name of justice I shall make thee into a delicious jam!"

With every swing I sought to undo its evil, until I had reduced it to jelly.

I returned with twelve camels laden with sticky preserves.

To this day, we break fast each morning with toast and jam
in remembrance of those dark days.

That our children may never again know fear in the shadow of that vile fruit.