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Beyond's itch.io pageType of Submission
Interactive Twine game
Genres
Interactive fiction, narrative, nda2024, twine
Is this a solo jam or a group submission?
Solo
Permisions
Yes
Leave a comment
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Type of Submission
Interactive Twine game
Genres
Interactive fiction, narrative, nda2024, twine
Is this a solo jam or a group submission?
Solo
Permisions
Yes
Log in with itch.io to leave a comment.
Comments
I like that kind of games. I was into the story (even if I was confused sometimes and wasn't sure what was happening), but the link didn't work, and to be honest I didn't understood where a code was asked? I reached the "END (?)" without needing it.
Having explanations and references to some words was a nice bonus. I agree with the other comment saying that it would have been nice to have different colors for the buttons that were meant to continue the story and the others that were notes.
I think if you continue this game or make another one, some music would be nice, as well as different backgrounds depending on what's happening. It would dynamize the reader/player's experience as well as make everything clearer for them.
Keep the good work!
Hi hi! So sorry for the late response!
Thank you so much for your comment and feedback ^^
The END(?) is meant to be reached without the code. There is a Tumblr blog with a password that will provide additional end-of-story lore — that is what the code is for. The link is a bit buggy within the Twine game, here is the link if you want to check it out: https://thisisreallytheend.tumblr.com/
Overall an interesting journey that flips between dream states and reality. I liked the mystery woven into the narrative, with only hints given and no definitive answers early on. This kept the mystery of the letter and admittance into school a constant unknown element.
The use of bioluminescent as a metaphor works extremely well for the theme. The story starting out by describing all the ways bioluminescence can be used sets up the rest of the story. Also, casting light on the darkness of a mystery was a theme you expertly referred back to in multiple scenes.
I was a bit unsure of a few things, which could be fixed by something like varying the colours.
- dream state vs reality. Possibly having two different background colours would work well for this. Check out the “tag” system in twine.
- links that progressed the story vs links that are background info. Two different colours here would be helpful.
Also, I wasn’t clear what the goal was after I discovered the password and went for a walk. I got stuck in a section I was sure where to click.
Overall, a solid twine game, that had a nice theme which linked everything together.
Hi there! Apologies for the late response.
Thank you so so much for your kind words and feedback. I will keep your feedback in mind for my next game
With regards to the password, you actually needed to input it into a tumblr blog (http://thisisreallytheend.tumblr.com/) which would provide bonus end-of-story content/lore. Apologies if that did not work within the Twine game!
I liked the narrative so much! The balance of mysterious and real is really captivating, very good job :)
I also managed to open the link, but me be no smart enough to learn the password :D
can you please give me a hint? should I find a name somewhere in the text? Or maybe the words that lead me to the letter are important and i should combine them into something? (greeck, lullaby, etc.)
Hi! So sorry for the late response! Thank you for taking the time to comment on my game <3
Hint: It’s a Greek monster, and the clue links should hint to its name ;)
Oh No, the tumblr link to the true ending might be broken.
Unfortunately, when I clicked the link it said it was broken, which also meant I couldn't go back to try again!
Oh no! The link works now — turns out I missed an “e” in the tumblr URL :’) As for the vanishing link in Twine, I didn’t have time to troubleshoot that ;w;
Do let me know if you’d me to post the tumblr link on the game’s page just in case!