Already liking the cover illustration on this one! Had some thoughts while reading through:
1. Really enjoying that you called them Mantles. Also good work on picking names that evoke setting. The Troubadour's ability might be a bit strong.
2. Jumping back to the top for a second. The title on the document needed a Return so that Ancient and Ruins weren't on separate lines. Would just look cleaner.
3. The rolling of stats is good but also allows for a lot of manipulation. In a lot of OSR games, I see the roll-straight-through approach. Perhaps consider a point buy system if you want players to have more control?
4. The Gear table is well designed and I love that you use HD (which is different for each Mantle) for an ascending table.
5. 2d8 for skill checks might be too high. I can see a situation where a player gets 1s and 2s on their character roll and would rarely be able to get any successes. Consider either making the dice 2d6 or raising the stats in some way. I'm worried that Luck won't mitigate this enough. But keep the Advantage / Adversity rules of adding the third die!
6. The two values for the weapons based on success - VERY NICE!
7. OK! The trading of luck between the players and the GM is the coolest thing in here. I love this. Would the players know that more luck to the GM gives him more power? Either way, that's super cool. Also good on you for including a GM section!
8. Need a space between ExampleMonster.
9. I like the knocked out rules - makes it more interesting than you just fall to 0.
Overall, great job! There are some really cool elements of design in here you should be happy with. I'd just check to make sure the rolls / stats will balance and I think you should be golden!
Hey there. Thanks so much for the kind and helpful feedback.
3. So I was tied between two potential options: having players roll 1d4+1 down the line for stats with no option of rerolling or rearranging, or the system that made its way into the game. I agree that the level of manipulation that's currently possible isn't the most OSR thing ever, but I wanted some way to give the players some power in the process, as a stat spread of 1-4 is pretty dang low. However, I don't think that such a low stat spread is necessarily a bad thing, although upon reflection I might be leaning more towards the 1d4+1 model.
5. If a player has a 2 in, say, Finesse, they have a 25% chance of a mixed success. I think I agree that the stats could use a rework. Thanks for pulling it up.
The only justification I can think of for it is it forces the players to spend more luck, which makes the game more dangerous. Perhaps increasing the size of the heroes' luck pools?
Let me know what you think, and thanks again for the feedback. It means a lot to have someone look over your first game.
Oh and in response to your question about Luck and the GM, this is a system that I really want to work into a bigger game and I always envisioned it using a system of tokens or poker chips or whatever. So, every time the players spend their luck, they get to see the pile next to the GM getting a little bit bigger. Then, the GM gets to quietly reach across the table and discard a token, then look innocently at the players as they know something awful is about to happen, but they don't know what. All they're sure of is that this is basically all their own fault.
That sort of thing. I didn't really find myself with room to include a note about tokens. Do you think it could be beneficial to fit it in?
No problem! I know how much feedback means to me and am happy to help out where I can.
3. Just something to think on! Also OSR doesn't really mean much haha... it's really a grab bag.
5. Hmmm I tend to see think success should happen 55-60% of the time. In really deadly systems, like 40%. But try increasing the luck pools first!
Tokens: I think most folks will get it. But if you think it's important for your system (and can find the space), I'd include it. Answer as many questions as the reader might have before they ask them.
But for real, keep working on this! A solid first game.
Comments
Hello BigOlBookofSpells,
Already liking the cover illustration on this one! Had some thoughts while reading through:
1. Really enjoying that you called them Mantles. Also good work on picking names that evoke setting. The Troubadour's ability might be a bit strong.
2. Jumping back to the top for a second. The title on the document needed a Return so that Ancient and Ruins weren't on separate lines. Would just look cleaner.
3. The rolling of stats is good but also allows for a lot of manipulation. In a lot of OSR games, I see the roll-straight-through approach. Perhaps consider a point buy system if you want players to have more control?
4. The Gear table is well designed and I love that you use HD (which is different for each Mantle) for an ascending table.
5. 2d8 for skill checks might be too high. I can see a situation where a player gets 1s and 2s on their character roll and would rarely be able to get any successes. Consider either making the dice 2d6 or raising the stats in some way. I'm worried that Luck won't mitigate this enough. But keep the Advantage / Adversity rules of adding the third die!
6. The two values for the weapons based on success - VERY NICE!
7. OK! The trading of luck between the players and the GM is the coolest thing in here. I love this. Would the players know that more luck to the GM gives him more power? Either way, that's super cool. Also good on you for including a GM section!
8. Need a space between ExampleMonster.
9. I like the knocked out rules - makes it more interesting than you just fall to 0.
Overall, great job! There are some really cool elements of design in here you should be happy with. I'd just check to make sure the rolls / stats will balance and I think you should be golden!
Hey there. Thanks so much for the kind and helpful feedback.
3. So I was tied between two potential options: having players roll 1d4+1 down the line for stats with no option of rerolling or rearranging, or the system that made its way into the game. I agree that the level of manipulation that's currently possible isn't the most OSR thing ever, but I wanted some way to give the players some power in the process, as a stat spread of 1-4 is pretty dang low. However, I don't think that such a low stat spread is necessarily a bad thing, although upon reflection I might be leaning more towards the 1d4+1 model.
5. If a player has a 2 in, say, Finesse, they have a 25% chance of a mixed success. I think I agree that the stats could use a rework. Thanks for pulling it up.
The only justification I can think of for it is it forces the players to spend more luck, which makes the game more dangerous. Perhaps increasing the size of the heroes' luck pools?
Let me know what you think, and thanks again for the feedback. It means a lot to have someone look over your first game.
Oh and in response to your question about Luck and the GM, this is a system that I really want to work into a bigger game and I always envisioned it using a system of tokens or poker chips or whatever. So, every time the players spend their luck, they get to see the pile next to the GM getting a little bit bigger. Then, the GM gets to quietly reach across the table and discard a token, then look innocently at the players as they know something awful is about to happen, but they don't know what. All they're sure of is that this is basically all their own fault.
That sort of thing. I didn't really find myself with room to include a note about tokens. Do you think it could be beneficial to fit it in?
No problem! I know how much feedback means to me and am happy to help out where I can.
3. Just something to think on! Also OSR doesn't really mean much haha... it's really a grab bag.
5. Hmmm I tend to see think success should happen 55-60% of the time. In really deadly systems, like 40%. But try increasing the luck pools first!
Tokens: I think most folks will get it. But if you think it's important for your system (and can find the space), I'd include it. Answer as many questions as the reader might have before they ask them.
But for real, keep working on this! A solid first game.
Thanks!