Hello BigOlBookofSpells,
Already liking the cover illustration on this one! Had some thoughts while reading through:
1. Really enjoying that you called them Mantles. Also good work on picking names that evoke setting. The Troubadour's ability might be a bit strong.
2. Jumping back to the top for a second. The title on the document needed a Return so that Ancient and Ruins weren't on separate lines. Would just look cleaner.
3. The rolling of stats is good but also allows for a lot of manipulation. In a lot of OSR games, I see the roll-straight-through approach. Perhaps consider a point buy system if you want players to have more control?
4. The Gear table is well designed and I love that you use HD (which is different for each Mantle) for an ascending table.
5. 2d8 for skill checks might be too high. I can see a situation where a player gets 1s and 2s on their character roll and would rarely be able to get any successes. Consider either making the dice 2d6 or raising the stats in some way. I'm worried that Luck won't mitigate this enough. But keep the Advantage / Adversity rules of adding the third die!
6. The two values for the weapons based on success - VERY NICE!
7. OK! The trading of luck between the players and the GM is the coolest thing in here. I love this. Would the players know that more luck to the GM gives him more power? Either way, that's super cool. Also good on you for including a GM section!
8. Need a space between ExampleMonster.
9. I like the knocked out rules - makes it more interesting than you just fall to 0.
Overall, great job! There are some really cool elements of design in here you should be happy with. I'd just check to make sure the rolls / stats will balance and I think you should be golden!