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A jam submission

Ace of AnnihilationView project page

An OPR Writing Jam #9 Project
Submitted by Relfar — 1 day, 1 hour before the deadline
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Play story

Ace of Annihilation's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Concepts & Originality#134.0014.095
Flow & Clarity#343.1173.190
Overall#353.3193.397
Adherence to Theme#442.8382.905

Ranked from 21 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Submitted(+1)

A lot of writers doing some really good 'movie moments' for their stories. Good stuff! I like the fact that the older robot made the visitor wait hours before paying their message any heed. Though, from a machine intelligence perspective that could have been an eternity. Though I guess Robots might not experience boredom and impatience like the flesh-bound do. I also like the device used where the reader isn't completely clear on who or what the laughing one is. Keep the audience wanting more/asking more.

Developer

Thanks for the kind words! I wanted to make sure that I mentioned that this particular Lord wasn't necessarily a fan of always being connected to hundreds of minds, I think for me it worked out as being both a character choice and helped lend credence to his ability to keep his mind away from his fellow bot. Some of my stances on chronological time for non-biologicals I steal from what I find interesting in Vampire fiction and I like the idea of the immortal that has other things to do, but is so bound to tradition they can be seen actually using large swathes of human time for *politeness*

Submitted(+1)

Good stuff! Robot druids (or robot naturalists would be more accurate I suppose) are always one of my favorites. The detail about the two just sitting there for two hours as they finished there gardening was top notch. Especially considering the "other party" in the room.

Developer

Thank you for the kind words! I like to think there's an alluring quality of the juxtaposition between plant and metal so am glad you share the sentiment.

Submitted(+1)

Brilliantly grimdark! I loved the uncertainty of the Gardener's disposition. I think if the perspective could have followed the legionary slightly more to better anchor the piece, but that is me nitpicking and looking for something to critique. Perfectly suited to the format as you are unsure whether the Gardiner is justified in their actions. Well done!

Developer

Thank you for your kind words and critique! Glad you enjoyed it!