Having different chapters was a great idea!

Felt that did impact some parts being too slow, others too fast, and unfortunately, though there’s great build up to being allies, there’s not a whole lot of allyship present.

Using the columns as micro chapters was a great idea. I think it actually helped the flow a lot. Lots of fun ways later scenes in this story could go sideways too. great job.

You are being rescued, do not resist.

The brief flashes of worldbuilding ("beardless", "by the Company", and especially the bits about how "my men are willing to declare my clan Regal") are definitely the highlights of this story to me - I love it when stories establish new details about the setting instead of relying on the Army Forge lore exclusively. 

Glad to see both the dynasties and Jackals represented, even if it is from a primarily Dwarven point of view. Definitely left wanting more, but not without a solid conclusion, congratulations walking that tightrope.

As others have said: solid world-building. Love the hints of dwarven culture, as in "beardless animal", and "by the Company." The present-tense was used to good effect, though there's a stray paragraph in the middle where you switch to past-tense ("His tone brooked... he expected... his barter-tongue was..."). The dwarf's voice comes through really well, though, and I loved the twist at the end. Great work!

Some really solid world building here. I can see this being expanded to a full story.

Oooh, breaking it into 3 chapters was a neat idea. I must confess I read this aloud in character as if I was a curmudgeonly Mark Hamil thinking it was about a Robot Legion Warrior until I saw hints of Dwarf. Then I shrugged and kept doing it. When I got to the bit where he gets escorted to another speaking character I somehow assumed that they were Robot Legion and then gave the new speaker a Christopher Judge T'ealc voice. When I saw that it was supposed to be an Eternal Dynasty character, I again shrugged and rolled with it. Made reading this tale even more fun. It came off as a fun audio book to be for me. So congrats!

The last part of the third chapter gives me strong politics-thriller vibes in a good way. 

The story is written in an interesting style, but i had problems to find my bearings in the story until the third paragraph  (were the jailed dwarf gets fed by the tube). This might be fitting though, as it mirrors the disorientation the dwarf suffers from his captivity ;)

I didn't get as much a connection to the main character (the dwarf) as I would have liked. I feel that I don't know much about him exept for him beeing a soldier. What are his hopes, what drives him? Does he see a future beyond his captivity, before becoming entangled in the warlords plans?

On the other hand It felt very easy to connect to the Warlord, as his aspirations are layed out cristal clear. Also he becomes likable because he wants to overthrow a (presumed) tyrant, making the reader nearly forget how he treated his captives in the first chapter.

I hope to read more of you in the future :)