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The Deep World (Title Theme) (OST Jam #7 Submission)'s itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Correlation to theme | #551 | 2.782 | 2.941 |
| Creativity | #626 | 2.504 | 2.647 |
| Impression | #632 | 2.226 | 2.353 |
| Overall | #638 | 2.237 | 2.365 |
| Composition | #642 | 1.947 | 2.059 |
| Quality | #647 | 1.725 | 1.824 |
Ranked from 17 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
Description
What if The Legend of Zelda was underwater? This is the question I try to answer in the Title Theme of this fictional game. I took inspiration from the artwork prompt for the general ambiance, and both the original Legend of Zelda title theme and the song Bolero provided a lot of musical inspiration.
Theme
How does it fit the theme?
I tried to use digital instruments that replicated the feeling of being underwater. I also used very repetitive music--waves on a shore are repetitive, after all.
Link(s) of the submission on streaming services
https://youtu.be/2uOL37EtejE
Number of tracks1
Genre
Soundtrack use permission
Any project
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Comments
I don't want to be harsh by any means or want to be a gatekeeping asshole. But I also feel like you deserve a honest opinion.
I feel like most comments criticising the mix are trying to hide behind that. The mix shouldn’t be a problem to show an idea or give an overview of the song nether dose the quality of instruments. Besides there is an download link to a better version. However, I believe there are some problems with the song you’ve submitted.
First of all I feel like your song has quite some hiccups and falls out of rhythm from time to time. Especially with the quite straight drumming it is kind of distracting. Using a quantization should do the trick.
Secondly, I feel like you’ve had an idea but didn’t manage to take the time how to approach it properly. Most of the song is quite repetitive and the melody feels very uninspired and phoned in. From 00m:00s to 00m:32s everything is fine. But then it’s missing some evolvement. Though the drums are a nice idea, repeating everything beforehand and just layering isn’t always the best Idea. I feel like adding some harmonic context and maybe adding an arpeggio to add some movement to loosen up everything can add a whole new dimension.
Having said that I feel like the Melodies are my biggest problem. The best advice I can give you, is to really listen to some other works. Most of the time you’ll find to things with them. Firstly, they are like a singing voice, so you’ll find pauses like breathing. Also, they are never just running through the whole scale or pentatonic in random order. The best way to check,is to really try to hum your melody. If it is great it will stick. Try giving it meaning, maybe the melody describes the descend into the deep water and your melody reflects that or it describes a drowsy witch with some chromaticism and so on and so forth.
Yes, my advice can be somewhat contradicted by your mentioned inspiration of Bolero. But I have to say that Bolero is quite a hard rock to chew and is a quite challenging song. Altering the main melodies and changing it through multiple instruments and stacking different timbre for additional harmonic content is a balancing act that is its own art and Ravel having a neurological disorder by that time is its own can of worms.
don’t want to discourage you in any way or form or even want to bash you or your composition. It is a part we all had struggled through and needed to work on, so I have to commend that you’ve submitted your work. So please don’t let my words be a letdown. Hopefully we might see us in a following contest. I wish you nothing but the best of luck and also fun in your embarked journey.
I think the track could use more harmony with the lead synth, but I definitely get the underwater theme you went for in the track. Good job!
Good Drumming!
thank you everyone for your feedback so far. I just want to say that I know the mixing is off, I’ve known since the first comment lol. Feedback is always welcome, but if your only comment is about the mix, there’s no need to tell me again, I am already aware.
Very very quiet. A volume increase is definitely required. I also think that waves on a shore being repetitive isn't really a great way to view the theme because it detracts from the music rather than inspiring it.
There are probably more listener friendly ways of making the waves on a shore interesting musically such as having lots of fade ins and outs or by just using waves as background noise for the ambiance.
I’m aware of the mixing issues, not much I can do about that at this point for the jam. thanks for the feedback on it though.
can you expand a little bit more about the repetition detracting from the music? It’s a good critique, I just want to know more about what exactly you mean.
Well what I mean is that when given a theme, sometimes taking it in a certain way limits your flexibility to a degree that makes the music worse overall.
For example, in my first music jam I did the theme was an endless maze and I tried to convey that by having the same 8 bar stanza repeat but adding new instruments every time as if you were gathering new items along the way.
While yes it technically fit the theme, it ultimately detracted from the whole piece because my decision forced me into a box that prevented more interesting ways to express the theme.
I think the reason I see the repetition in your piece being a hinderance is because it is the ONLY piece you have. If you had say a few more tracks then a song representing the repetition of waves wouldn't be as much of a detraction. But because you only have the 1 track, making it intentionally repetitive seems like a bit of a poor decision.
I don't mean this to be mean by the way! I just remember when I did almost the exact same thing and other people also told me very similar things of how I could have handled the theme better.
I hope this helps!
I didn't take it as you being mean, don't worry! Thanks for sharing your experience with a similar choice; it makes a lot of sense.
The vibes are good, but definitely recommend working on the mixing more, drums are very quiet
I think there's some good ideas here, but I would work on mixing a bit more; the volume and panning of the tracks leads to some things sounding muddled. I like the drums in this track!
Nice work! I like the whimsicality of the whole piece! In addition to the panning sound Syn mentioned below, I felt it was a bit quiet, but other than that I think you did great!
thank you! I need to get new mixing headphones, haha. Thanks for the support!
The fluttery synth does a really good job of characterizing waves. Reminds me of bubbles racing by and undulating with the waves. Nice attention to detail there! I'm not sure if it's just me - the entire mix seems a little more panned to the right than centre - not an issue by any means, just worth mentioning is all. Good work, and best of luck with the competition!
thanks for pointing out the mixing! My headphones are giving out on me, so it’s definitely likely that the panning is off.
Not a major issue by any means, especially not for a jam entry! Just something to be mindful of if you weren't aware already. Recently had to move on from my most recent pair as they were giving out on one side, also. :)