Hey thanks for making this! Your writing is really great - it managed to both set a scene and convey the experience of the protagonist without having to say anything directly. It's also very fun, and strong in its style. I really liked all the names of the online lurkers, so apt. I also like that you centred it around something that often falls under the cracks and doesn't get a lot direct of air-time, it feels current, relatable and not overdone.

This a stunningly powerful game for its length. I don't have too much critique, more just notes on parts of it I enjoyed - I think thematically it does its job really well, so I don't have much to say there. 

The opening with a dictionary definition was great to frame the context of the game, it might have been a confusing start without this. Generally, I think the way you varied both the hypertext usage and paragraph lengths made for a game that flowed very easily, and gave resistance in just the right places. Overall, I think you establish an inner conflict of the character quite effectively and quickly, which was impressive. The contrast between moments like the character calling herself a whore (essentially) and then saying they don't know what a whore is, paints a stark picture. 

"i haven't kissed a boy but i've shown men older than my father my strechmarked bum" is such a strong line that I think you could have even ended with that single line on a page after 'he calls me boring and I smile'. 

Not so much feedback as much as an idea, but the second last paragraph, that begins with 'when I climb into my cupboard'. Perhaps because so many of the sentences are short, you could make a long chain of links with short sentences. You then click through them rather quickly as a result of their shortness. The quick several clicks could contrast well with the static final paragraph where you have nothing to click. I figure it could feel like it's building up to something, and then anticlimactically just leaves you to linger in the nihilistic, yet panging, emotions of the static final paragraph. Just a thought! 

Great job on this! Its really quite a startling and emotionally charged piece of interactive fiction. 

I was expecting this to be dark and difficult but I was hoping for a bit more player agency and interactivity - even if all the options were equally bleak - but perhaps the lack of any agency for the player was the point. I imagine this must have been taxing to write but the result is clearly something that has got people thinking and that's important and a successful result.

This was definitely a challenging experience. But thank you for making it. I thought the intertextuality worked well. And the sense of shame/self disgust that the main character felt was very relatable.

Hi! Just a reminder of this rule: " To be eligible to win any of the prizes, your team has to play and give feedback to five other entries by Monday, 5th October 2020". 

So if you haven't done it yet, you still have the rest of this weekend and Monday to give your feedback!

I appreciate the fact that you are using this platform to make a game that speaks about such a difficult topic. We need artefacts like these. Just enough about the story is revealed at each step that makes the player want to keep going. I feel that the themes allow for introspection and make people more aware of mental health issues and challenge our perspectives on the internet and the technologies available on it.

Hmm bit of a shocking story.

Guess it kind of opened up a window into how a women is treated online. I've never experienced or given this kind of experience to someone so can't relate.

But an interesting read.