I've been re-reading the Mistborn series while I was creating my jam submission and I was thinking that Mistborn/Ferromancy would fit well with Starforged (specifically storing information into metal minds - replacement for lost technology). So it's great to see Allomancy assets in this jam.
Mistborn is amazing and starforged is amazing, so a combination is Amazing!!!
Anyway, what I wanted to tell you was about the Feruchemy. I made 1 asset for that, pewtermind and realized that they would all be more or less exactly the same except for what is actually stored, so I sort of abandoned that for now. But might get on that again at a later state 😅 but here is the one I did make so you can have a look.
In case it wasn't intentional: there's a preview image for Pewtermind, but it's not in the downloads.
I'm not sure how I feel about all the assets being named "Allomancy" with a non-prompt write-in for the flavor -- it might work better folding it up into the Type, like "Path: Allomancy"?
Please do and let me know how they worked out :) I'm using Coin Shot in my actual play podcast if you are interested in checking it out https://anchor.fm/zappsquest warning, a bit off a rough start i think but it gets better 😅
Ah, crap, Pewtermind wasn't gonna show up yet, I was working on Feruchemy assets, but realized they are not really that flavourable and they all do the same thing, only difference is what is stored in the metal... So gonna fix that mistake and remove that one.
That's a good point. I will get on that during the day, changing it to Path: Allomancy probably gonna make the card look bettet as well. Thanks for that tip!
I’ve order things I just noticed; Tineye says “slither of light” but I think you meant “sliver”
Edit: If you don't mind, some other proofreading:
Note the punctuation on the Ironsworn/Starforged moves & assets. The punctuation works like:
Example I made up:"When you Do A Thing or Do A Different Thing, add +1 and take +2 momentum. On a strong hit with a match, take +3 instead"
Engine Upgrade: "When you Undertake an Expedition (+edge) and score a strong hit, take +1 momentum; on a strong hit with a 6 on your action die, take +2 momentum instead of +1. "
Heavy Cannons: "When you ..., ..., or ..., by [doing a thing in the fiction], add +1 and take +1 momentum on a hit. On a strong hit with a match, take another +1 momentum. "
Specifically:
When you _____ (or ____)" ends with a comma
Results of the above end with a period.
Result-specific changes have a comma after a result, and a period after the effect.
Engine Upgrade has a semicolon before "on a strong hit", but it's the only card like that so I wonder if it was an editing miss.
Most semicolons seem to be like:
"On a [result], you [experience this in the fiction]; [mechanical effect]" (Stealth Tech 3, several others)
"On a [result], [mechanical effect]; if [situation in fiction], [additional mechanical effect]" (Grappler 2)
Also, I'd already saved a copy of the Pewtermind card, and some spelling stood out:
"at _crucial_ points"
"and _lose_ -1" (but the next ability says "mark -2" -- it seems like the official assets like Expanded Hold use "add" and "suffer" to manage their own resource tracks)
Comments
I've been re-reading the Mistborn series while I was creating my jam submission and I was thinking that Mistborn/Ferromancy would fit well with Starforged (specifically storing information into metal minds - replacement for lost technology). So it's great to see Allomancy assets in this jam.
Hi vishae
Mistborn is amazing and starforged is amazing, so a combination is Amazing!!!
Anyway, what I wanted to tell you was about the Feruchemy. I made 1 asset for that, pewtermind and realized that they would all be more or less exactly the same except for what is actually stored, so I sort of abandoned that for now. But might get on that again at a later state 😅 but here is the one I did make so you can have a look.
Neat! I look forward to trying these sometime. :)
In case it wasn't intentional: there's a preview image for Pewtermind, but it's not in the downloads.
I'm not sure how I feel about all the assets being named "Allomancy" with a non-prompt write-in for the flavor -- it might work better folding it up into the Type, like "Path: Allomancy"?
Please do and let me know how they worked out :) I'm using Coin Shot in my actual play podcast if you are interested in checking it out https://anchor.fm/zappsquest warning, a bit off a rough start i think but it gets better 😅
Ah, crap, Pewtermind wasn't gonna show up yet, I was working on Feruchemy assets, but realized they are not really that flavourable and they all do the same thing, only difference is what is stored in the metal... So gonna fix that mistake and remove that one.
That's a good point. I will get on that during the day, changing it to Path: Allomancy probably gonna make the card look bettet as well. Thanks for that tip!
I’ve order things I just noticed; Tineye says “slither of light” but I think you meant “sliver”
Edit: If you don't mind, some other proofreading:
Note the punctuation on the Ironsworn/Starforged moves & assets. The punctuation works like:
Specifically:
Also, I'd already saved a copy of the Pewtermind card, and some spelling stood out:
Thanks m8 I'll have a closer look at your comments when time allowes and try to rectify any issues 😁