I’ve order things I just noticed; Tineye says “slither of light” but I think you meant “sliver”
Edit: If you don't mind, some other proofreading:
Note the punctuation on the Ironsworn/Starforged moves & assets. The punctuation works like:
- Example I made up:"When you Do A Thing or Do A Different Thing, add +1 and take +2 momentum. On a strong hit with a match, take +3 instead"
- Engine Upgrade: "When you Undertake an Expedition (+edge) and score a strong hit, take +1 momentum; on a strong hit with a 6 on your action die, take +2 momentum instead of +1. "
- Heavy Cannons: "When you ..., ..., or ..., by [doing a thing in the fiction], add +1 and take +1 momentum on a hit. On a strong hit with a match, take another +1 momentum. "
Specifically:
- When you _____ (or ____)" ends with a comma
- Results of the above end with a period.
- Result-specific changes have a comma after a result, and a period after the effect.
- Engine Upgrade has a semicolon before "on a strong hit", but it's the only card like that so I wonder if it was an editing miss.
- Most semicolons seem to be like:
- "On a [result], you [experience this in the fiction]; [mechanical effect]" (Stealth Tech 3, several others)
- "On a [result], [mechanical effect]; if [situation in fiction], [additional mechanical effect]" (Grappler 2)
Also, I'd already saved a copy of the Pewtermind card, and some spelling stood out:
- "at _crucial_ points"
- "and _lose_ -1" (but the next ability says "mark -2" -- it seems like the official assets like Expanded Hold use "add" and "suffer" to manage their own resource tracks)