The writing is generally pretty pleasant to read and feels polished; character voices are adequately distinct, descriptions do their job. In terms of pacing and structure, the opening feels quite weak – no need to do the whole "I just woke up" routine if there isn't life-savingly important setup in there – but the story moves fast enough after that.
Mostly, I think it just felt kind of impactless? While I get that the premise itself doesn't come with the highest of stakes, the whole thing feels so devoid of conflict and tension. Not every scene feels like it really progresses the central relationship, and both Callum and the protagonist feel ultimately quite flat as characters.
I think this kind of lowkey slice-of-life thing lives and dies by its style and flavor, and Beginning Anew with You might not quite be there. The writing is detail-oriented, yes, but it spends a lot of time talking about fictional video games and comparatively little fleshing out the setting and the characters. There's nothing straight up unenjoyable in the game, but for being more than 10 000 words long and having plenty of space to make its point, it feels like it's missing a hook, the memorable thing that makes it interesting to read.