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(+1)

Spoilers:

Theme: expanded world view or growth or something for the alien (and I guess growing out of the hearache for Xander).

Story: A sort of ET tale but with romance. The alien crash, the jilted lover, the govt agents. If anything, I think my issue was that there was too much, if only partially that the rebound romance felt bad to me.

There was so much of the "i don't know my own emotions" (copied from Xander's emotions at that) from Wesley, followed by the spur stuck in his foot scene (which Xander noted he last  had that happen as a child) that made any sort of romantic feelings for Wesley feel out of place barring his shapeshifting abilities, for me. Like initially smelling Hikaru on him as a sort of lure. And so much of Xander's mind was like... used to form Wesley-- for all the talk of mpreg, it made Xander feel like Wesley's father... barring the kissing which felt wrong.

Wesley felt so much like a child, to me. It's so curious that they're a spacefaring species but without any sort of imagination, which I feel is like, contrary to at least our worldview. So much of our science is sought out for on the back of dreams of impossible realities and childhood stories of unknown worlds. It's so alien (ha!) that it kind of makes that pursuit of knowledge also seem unreasonable to me.  To know for the sake of knowing and then an expansion into feelings? So fresh? Like a newborn mind, of sorts. 

(Even the small footpads compared to the hands only served to reinforce that feeling-- i'd expect bipedal beings to have like some measure of larger feet than hands, but the two were the same size-- an adults hand's  can fit a child's feet, as though the presentation itself was saying that Wesley was young).

So much of this you framed with the background of movies, in that I wonder if you trapped yourself in those conventions, where so much can happen with that can fall apart if one questions the time it took to get to that point. Like the ending-- Xander didn't matter b efore, but they heard the alien say he would come back for him. Congrats, imprisoned for life to await for their return!

Or how was he moving with a spinal injury? It's not completely out of the window, but it was a pretty violent injury if the spine was like... out of alignment that much. I don't know how he even managed tog et back to Wesley with that sort of wound-- at least Wesley's support meant that he had some external force to carry him along?

Or how was he going to marry Hikaru if the man was brazen enough to go to an orgy and think he could be taken back? His sister too kind to say "i told you so?" after being mad at him the day after? (Or to pivot back, how could Wesley understand that Xander loved Hikaru, but not those own complex feelings of the self at that point?) There's only the nice portrayal with the flashback, but that rings sort of false after seeing the scene at teh cabin and knowing Xander was stood up, like there should have been red flags he ignored all along to get to that point.

Presentation: I loved all the little moments you did throughout, lie the constellation, or the hands reaching out with stars in them, and yes, everyone's favorite footpads too.

There were a few moments where I thought there could sfx were there weren't (like how you had it for one crash of glass and not the other), and other than the ambience and over-prevalanece of purple, I think you did a great job with these.

(I didn't love how Wesley was a silhouette and then not one-- was that something with the naked sprites? To try and keep it SFW?) I would have rather seen ken doll nudity or a blur--I was spending too much time wondering if he was supposed to look alien only for you to describe him as seemingly normal while he was still a sillhouette.

Creativity: Rebound rom com x ET/Iron Giant/Whatever other films there are with alien friends... alf? lol

Overall thoughts: A great job, very shaped by the films that were alluded to throughout the work, although I think if the narrative took it away from the romance (and thereby cut some of those other scenes which were to build up to the those emotional moments) then that other sort of emotionality would have paid off more. That, or make Wesley feel less like a child (to me :sweat:), to make it allowable that Xander could fall for him outside of Hikaru's pheremones lingering due to Wesley taking a form most "suitable" for Xander.

But others may not have the same qualms, ya know? Art is subjective <3

Now i have to remember to look at your other works after I recover from may wolf overdosing.

(1 edit) (+1)

The main distinction that I tried to convey in the story was one of experience vs. knowledge and how those two things differ. 

That led to the moral weirdness(?) that you identified: despite him being an adult, Wesley's slowed transformation makes him act childish. I tried to pace it so that by the time the romance got going Wesley was already emotionally mature. Unfortunately, like the ending, it sounds like I missed the mark on that. I had wanted to make his maturity more explicit to really emphasize that point, but the word count was nipping at my heels. Ideally, I think this story should have had another 10k words at least to let all the elements breath.

Regarding the feet sizes, idk man. I based them off of my own feet in my hands so maybe mine are just on the small side XD.

I never saw the movies thing as a framing device. It was a quirk to give the characters something to build off of in a few of the scenes. Maybe I could have made it into something more, but then I run would run into the word count problem again. 

As for the other character stuff, I don't really have an answer other than that's how they came out so that's what they did.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thanks for the review! That was a fun read and a cool deep dive that made me look at the story in a different light. +1

(+1)

Not you forcing me into the room of "Feet pics" discourse... delightfully devilish, Kraaj.