I need to preface this by saying that I'm impressed at how, after discovering Kraaj for his Gothic horror story and generally gloomy stories, he still manages to write incredibily intertaining funny characters and skits. The comedy in A Rebound from MARS! is great and the MC's snarky personaly is a joy to behold. I think the one joke I'm not a fan of is the one where the MC acknowledges that nametags are a thing: while funny on its own, it didn't really mash with the rest of the humor of this particular story, which is meta but not fourth-wall breaking.

The presentation is top notch, even with the self-imposed visual limitations: the limited color palette gives the game its identity and the game uses silhouettes in interesting ways (OMG that scene with the paw massage, I love it! The length some people will go to get Grange brownie points!). The sound design is also great, not just the music but also the ambience.

If I have to offer some criticism is in the structure of the story. The story is a joy to read, however I do feel that one thing that was missing is focusing a bit earlier on the protagonist's motivation. I couldn't help but be reminded of E.T. and Wall-E while reading this story: the first preoccupation in both of those stories, before we get to the plot eventually leading to the climax, is establishing the seeds of a relationship between the protagonist and his alien friend. In Rebound, instead, the protagonist embarks on a journey right off the gate, and it's only towards the very last leg of said journey that we get to see the two mains establish a connection: everything at the beginning is mostly comedy, busywork, and establishing the characters' backstories (and powers).

SPOILERS to follow

For example, when we get to the bridge crossing, the whole time I couldn't help but think "Why are we risking our life again, instead of finding another way across? What is the urgency, what is the motivation from the MC's point of view?" I do get the answer to that question is probably just "The protagonist needs a project to distract himself from his failed relationship." I just think the story would have been stronger by moving some of the bonding scene from the end to the beginning, in order to make this journey really feel personal.

Also given, the nature of the story, my brain couldn't help but try to poke holes at it at times. The powers of the alien are left a bit mysterious in how they work: the alien will go in the span of the same scene from not knowing what farts or parents are to being able to recount the protagonist's entire life story with very appropriate Earthly terminology. But that's something I can look past!

My final nitpick is that the handling of the "bad guys" left me a bit confused. The reveal is well handled, but I can't help but think it clashes with previous information about the characters (almost like the dev decided half-way through these were going to be bad guys): the way the two bad guys are aware the two protagonists sneaked away during the night but don't seem to react to this information doesn't really seem consistent with the way they are protrayed the following morning. And during the resolution of the story, the protagonist is left in their company, without leaving any clue of what exactly is going to happen to him.

These are all nipicks though: like I said the story was very good!

Spoilers:

Theme: expanded world view or growth or something for the alien (and I guess growing out of the hearache for Xander).

Story: A sort of ET tale but with romance. The alien crash, the jilted lover, the govt agents. If anything, I think my issue was that there was too much, if only partially that the rebound romance felt bad to me.

There was so much of the "i don't know my own emotions" (copied from Xander's emotions at that) from Wesley, followed by the spur stuck in his foot scene (which Xander noted he last  had that happen as a child) that made any sort of romantic feelings for Wesley feel out of place barring his shapeshifting abilities, for me. Like initially smelling Hikaru on him as a sort of lure. And so much of Xander's mind was like... used to form Wesley-- for all the talk of mpreg, it made Xander feel like Wesley's father... barring the kissing which felt wrong.

Wesley felt so much like a child, to me. It's so curious that they're a spacefaring species but without any sort of imagination, which I feel is like, contrary to at least our worldview. So much of our science is sought out for on the back of dreams of impossible realities and childhood stories of unknown worlds. It's so alien (ha!) that it kind of makes that pursuit of knowledge also seem unreasonable to me.  To know for the sake of knowing and then an expansion into feelings? So fresh? Like a newborn mind, of sorts. 

(Even the small footpads compared to the hands only served to reinforce that feeling-- i'd expect bipedal beings to have like some measure of larger feet than hands, but the two were the same size-- an adults hand's  can fit a child's feet, as though the presentation itself was saying that Wesley was young).

So much of this you framed with the background of movies, in that I wonder if you trapped yourself in those conventions, where so much can happen with that can fall apart if one questions the time it took to get to that point. Like the ending-- Xander didn't matter b efore, but they heard the alien say he would come back for him. Congrats, imprisoned for life to await for their return!

Or how was he moving with a spinal injury? It's not completely out of the window, but it was a pretty violent injury if the spine was like... out of alignment that much. I don't know how he even managed tog et back to Wesley with that sort of wound-- at least Wesley's support meant that he had some external force to carry him along?

Or how was he going to marry Hikaru if the man was brazen enough to go to an orgy and think he could be taken back? His sister too kind to say "i told you so?" after being mad at him the day after? (Or to pivot back, how could Wesley understand that Xander loved Hikaru, but not those own complex feelings of the self at that point?) There's only the nice portrayal with the flashback, but that rings sort of false after seeing the scene at teh cabin and knowing Xander was stood up, like there should have been red flags he ignored all along to get to that point.

Presentation: I loved all the little moments you did throughout, lie the constellation, or the hands reaching out with stars in them, and yes, everyone's favorite footpads too.

There were a few moments where I thought there could sfx were there weren't (like how you had it for one crash of glass and not the other), and other than the ambience and over-prevalanece of purple, I think you did a great job with these.

(I didn't love how Wesley was a silhouette and then not one-- was that something with the naked sprites? To try and keep it SFW?) I would have rather seen ken doll nudity or a blur--I was spending too much time wondering if he was supposed to look alien only for you to describe him as seemingly normal while he was still a sillhouette.

Creativity: Rebound rom com x ET/Iron Giant/Whatever other films there are with alien friends... alf? lol

Overall thoughts: A great job, very shaped by the films that were alluded to throughout the work, although I think if the narrative took it away from the romance (and thereby cut some of those other scenes which were to build up to the those emotional moments) then that other sort of emotionality would have paid off more. That, or make Wesley feel less like a child (to me :sweat:), to make it allowable that Xander could fall for him outside of Hikaru's pheremones lingering due to Wesley taking a form most "suitable" for Xander.

But others may not have the same qualms, ya know? Art is subjective <3

Now i have to remember to look at your other works after I recover from may wolf overdosing.

I enjoyed this story. Having an alien love interest learn how to be a person (and a wolf for this jam!) feels like a risky move. It means that more focus is on the MC to carry the story and the romance. Thankfully, Xander has enough depth to carry more interpersonal drama and personality to make me laugh. He leads this story until Wesley gets his bearings, in both the story and his new body.

The theme doesn't come through as clearly. I can see that interpersonal growth on the characters and the expansion of the alien race meet up with the theme, but it doesn't read as strong as it could be.

The ending feels a bit odd to me. Most of this VN is focused on procedural details and on immediate sensations, and this seems to run counter ending as it does. I expected a small epilogue for how Xander is enduring afterwards, given his state and the government situation. Since you hit the word count, I suppose that requires some editing to refocus the story on the sweep of emotions, and I don't think that fits with what you are wanting to do. If only you had 1000 more words lol.

The small touches on art direction, such as hands against the starry sky, are quite memorable. I'm interpreting this entry as writing focused, so details like that were very fun!

I can't wait to see you create more stories.

I appreciate the boldness in sticking to a fairly monotone color palette and the clean, sleek UI. The VN is simply pleasing to look at despite having somewhat of a lean towards minimalism, and it gives and all the carefully scripted sprite animations and animated scenes a nice extra punch.

Narratively, A Rebound From MARS! takes a while to get going due to waiting for what feels like slightly too long to establish the stakes and the mechanics of the whole thing. Luckily, the comedy, the lush descriptions, and mining the conceit for some smart character moments keep it a breeze to read in spite of the gargantuan – by the jam's standards – length. Maybe it's just this being the first installment in my MAYWOLF2024 journey, but I didn't peruse the Itch page that thoroughly and was genuinely surprised to see this almost hit the word count limit.

As a jam entry, I think the game misses some opportunities to use the theme more thoughtfully; I can see the idea, so it wouldn't surprise to hear all that just didn't fit in.

Recommending a double feature with: UNDER THE SKIN (2013) dir. Jonathan Glazer