itch.io

Thanks, friend! I really appreciate the kind words!

LET'S GO! AND HAPPY BDAY!

Visuals looking sleek and sexy. Eagerly awaiting the next update. Until then, have a great trip!

What an interesting way to conclude my MAY WOLF readings!

Ugly, yes. Simple and bare bones. But also strikingly human and relatable. I've been there. With friends and family. Probably why I've never been able to hold a meaningful relationship in my life.

Overall, a straight-forward vignette which succeeds at stirring up my twentysomething anxieties. Good job.

Unagi's specific brand of craziness just seems to keep, ahem, expanding.

I'm going to be honest, I've barely the slightest idea of what is going on. And yet, I really started getting into it for some reason? Something about it's wackiness stopped me from looking away.

On a more technical level, the amount of effort put into this is also crazy. All the sprites. The menus. The animations. The combat (which has a strangely large amount of depth for a narrative experience).

Okay, so it doesn't "look pretty" or "flow well", but I don't think it's trying to. This game is here to push boundaries and have some fun along the way. That's a goal I can get behind. Well, it's a goal I can get behind after it crashes Ren'py three times in one scene and I turn off that mechanic.

An efficient and heartwarming tale.

Obvious stuff first: the presentation is jaw-dropping. It looks beautiful. It sounds beautiful. It reads beautifully. I can't think of an element that struck me as bad. Maybe one could say that explanations like the key run a little long, but the story was never ground to a halt for the world-building. 

The competing art styles felt like real "Instagram v Reality" moments, but they gave me a light-hearted laugh more than anything.

Just an well-rounded product. Top marks for sure.

A good entry with ambition.

Fantastic sprites. It's a lovely art style. That includes the UI as well. It's sleek and pleasing. The routes give a lot of player choice, and that's a fairly unique feature these days. Especially so for something done in such a small window of time. And I do applaud you for including a route that deviates so heavily from the normal Protagonist x Wolf dynamic.

Truly, there's lots of interesting choices there, but I found myself unable to fully sink into the world that was being built. The character relationships just didn't click for me. Maybe because the pacing felt off. Maybe because the story was edging toward low-conflict slice-of-life which I am, personally, not a fan of.

And, although I hate to point it out, there were a lot of tense errors and awkward phrases. I don't usually like to comment on those things because they can be easily corrected, but it did get intrusive enough to take me out of the story on multiple occasions.

All in all, an entry with good foundations and brimming with promise. I don't think it stuck the landing for me, however.

A solid debut entry.

There's nothing crazy here, but what has been done is pretty good. Despite the longer length, it feels relatively tight. The characters have a distinct voice and the world is interesting. The story is paced well.

I didn't quite get invested emotionally though.

Something about the flow feel off to me. Maybe its the way that so much character growth is done through internal monologue. This is especially apparent for the Uncle and Roan. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but, to me at least, it adds a layer of filtering that made it difficult for me to connect to. Also there is a fair amount of exposition front-loading, which becomes very noticeable with the lack of ambiance or music.

In conclusion, this was a good entry. There are few hiccups that hold it back, but there is a great foundation here to build upon. I really hope you continue within the fvn community, and I will always cheer for a fellow Willy Hope Hodgson and Robert Chambers fan.

This one really impressed me!

First off, having a romance counter and a semi-branching path with multiple endings? That's brave. Especially when we were on such a limited development time. I can't imagine the amount of effort you put into this during May. And submitting it a week before the deadline? Shit, that's crazy.

The art is well done. The custom sprites are good and help this story stand out as distinctly you. The music is solid, as are the backgrounds and the UI.

The writing was great! There were a few metaphors and weird sentences that made me squint. Overall though, this is quality stuff. The dialogue was good. It flowed well. The pacing was great. I was getting invested.

And, to be honest, I found the nods to other VNs to be handled surprisingly well. I thought it was cute.

I would say that the horror stands out as the weakest link, though. And by that I specifically mean the wobbly-text-entity's interjections. Maybe this is me being a spook snob, but it was trying a little too hard to give me the creeps. Maybe this will be further elaborated upon in Silverstone, but that part of the experience felt like an outlier to an otherwise great read.

And that's about it. It's pretty darn good. Looking forward to reading Silverstone when it drops!

That was good!

Although you said you hadn't written in years, the prose was solid. The custom assets and images were awesome, and I appreciate all of the spritework you did to make the characters emote. On the surface, there isn't anything bad here.

I do think it tended to drag a bit for reasons that other commenters have already covered so I won't repeat those.

I'm not a fan of slice of life, but I will say that this was a pleasant surprise. Good job!

Holy shit. I still have a half dozen entries to go, but this may just have taken my favorite spot. 

It's slick. It's sexy. And hell, the man created the engine so of course it fits his aesthetic. The writing is phenomenal. Especially the dialogue. Also I love me some fiction embedded in people's cultures and this scratched that itch real good. 

And the Nokia! The callout for me being lazy and not naming the protagonist!

And then the ending. Christ. The ending.

That was so strangely... real? As someone who has recently tried reconnecting with old friends from my teen years, it can be heartbreakingly painful. Hearing how they've moved on. How you've moved on. How quickly relationships can die. How quickly things are forgotten.

God, that line about Dom starting to like those horrible movies and not watching Salkkarit anymore fucking broke me. It triggered something, and I nearly fucking cried. FUCK!

"Was nice meeting you."

UGH! PURKKA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY SADISTIC HEART!!!

Okay. I know it sounds stupid, but I don't think an FVN has made me feel emotions like these since I first got into FVNs and read Echo. 

I only have two small quibbles. First was the twist halfway with the secret meetings. That felt like it could have been foreshadowed by the characters more and brought up later. That thread just kinda died. In a somewhat similar vein the open relationship chat made me tilt my head as to how that connected after having so many things linked to real events. 

Still, what a fantastic read! Loved it. Loved it. Loved it. And hated it. Take your 5 stars and leave me to angst in peace.

EDIT: Also you restrained yourself from using up my yearly umlaut-reading-quota. I appreciate that.

Silly and fun and very very hot.

The custom assets were awesome. Your unique art style stands out, and it's great to see the various emotions and poses you added to make the characters come to life. The music was good and fitting, and I thought the writing (tone, voice, flow) was pretty solid. The UI was good too!

With all of that said, I don't think I'm the audience for Burning Woof because I don't find slice of life stories engaging. The humor did a lot of the heavy lifting for me so I appreciate you putting that in. It really came in clutch when I needed it most.

In the end, it was a very good entry, but it wasn't for me.

A nice and tight short story.

The custom assets were great! The fetish isn't really my vice, but the sprites are well done and I can appreciate the quality and effort. The music is fitting and well-placed. The pacing solid. The deeper conversation about taking classes to make yourself "marketable" rather than doing what you want was a punch to the gut. Oof.

I don't have much bad to say about this. I think giving the "antagonists" of the story a little more love would've made them feel more unique. And I wish the UI would have been given some extra flair, but that's fluff.

Overall just a well-rounded and enjoyable read.

A good story with relatable themes.

The music fits well and the backgrounds give a provide a nice window into the setting. And I did not expect the custom CGs! Those were a pleasant surprise.

The writing is pretty good. There are some tender moments where I really felt for the characters in the scene. That said, I think that the emotional beats just barely missed the mark.

I actually started to become a little frustrated because the world was there, and the tension between the characters was building beautifully, and then there would be a weird phrase or a tonal shift that would take me out of the moment.

All of that said, this turned out to be fun read. I'll definitely look out for more work from you all in the future.

This was an interesting surprise.

I would not necessarily say that I loved the structure, but it was pleasantly quirky and weird. The music is fitting and the spirtes utilize a range of emotions that help push its wacky tone.

A quick entry that is worth checking out.

Apathesis has balls, I'll give it that.

Before I read this, I had lightly skimmed the comments on here and on discord, and what I'd gathered was that it was a gothic entry with a handful of fanciful elements. I thought, "Wow. Okay. I like du Maurier. I like Irving. This sounds great!"

And then I read it, and it was very much… Not. That.

No, I think I would describe it as dark postmodern surrealism. 

Or something similar. Idk.

The graphic presentation is simple but effective. A bit rough in places, like how the protagonist glides across the screen like she's a desktop icon. I guess that lends a certain mystical quality too? I don't mean to sound like a dick here, the handful of custom animations were appreciated, and the music is good. All of that stuff is incidental, though. The elephant here is the narrative.

The text is a dense maze that reflects the setting. It smacks the reader again and again with its difficulty: the vocab is tough and the text blocks are giant and never-ending. It repeats itself in more ways than one, and it makes the reader question what in God's name is actually happening.

I admire this approach, in a way. Few stories have the backbone to tell a reader, "Sit down and shut up because this is how we are going to do things around here." Such stories are not for everyone, and Apathesis definitely wears that badge proudly.

It reminds me of experimental music. The point is not to "sound good", but to create something textually interesting. 

With all of that in mind, I have a hard time saying that I enjoyed reading this. I think it's fitting that you changed the itch noun from "game" to "exaltation" because this felt more like an experience rather than a game or even a story. 

It did make me feel things. Boredom admittedly being one of them, but I can see this being a really deep and explorative read for an audience smarter than me. And, well, that's pretty much what I took away from this. 

Apathesis is creative and daring. But it is also not for me.

Blah blah blah. Tone is fantastic. Presentation is lacking. Basically what all the other comments said.

For real though, this got more than a couple good laughs out of me. I love your narrative voice. Even though this was a pretty simple murder mystery, your writing made it an awesome read.

Creative, but confusing.

Let's get the obvious out of the way. The sprites are beautiful and the custom images are sexy.

But this was probably my hardest MAY WOLF read thus far. The opening few scenes felt a little too blunt and fast to me. Then we get into the explanation of the card game and I'm completely lost. There's some great character building there for a minute or two, but then it's the card game again, and I'm once again scratching my head. I think I began to pick up the basics near the end, but for a lot of the game I struggled to stay engaged. 

Maybe a diagram when they are first explaining things would be helpful? Maybe when they are practicing you can show how things play out through images rather than text? IDK. Those are just some ideas. Like, I get that I'm an idiot and all, but the way the characters grasped the mechanics of the card game so easily while I'm just sitting here dumbfounded made me feel like I was missing something really obvious.

The writing itself is good. The head-hopping near the end there didn't help my confusion, but for the mostly internal narrative that it becomes, it's good. And even though I didn't understand too much of what was going on, I was intrigued when the tension started to ramp up.

And this all might be a "me" thing! It was certainly very pretty and creative, but I didn't quite jive with it.

Pretty dang good all things considered.

I'm not sure if I have too much to say other than this being a very solid, well-done entry. Sure it doesn't have any fancy tricks, but it makes do with what it has and creates something thoroughly enjoyable. The writing is good. The characters are good. The plot is interesting, despite the relatively dull settings.

The ending is... abrupt.

Despite having to rush this out to keep to your all's NeveN release schedule, this was a job well done.

A decent start with an indecent wolf.

Custom sprites and custom bgs will always get praise from me. Especially with a wolf like that. Good lord. And the plot is fun enough that it doesn't take itself too seriously. At least, I think that's what you all were going for.

That said, things move pretty slow. Too slow, imo. And while, normally, it's good to take intimate moments slow, that is 3/4 of the current build. 

The lack of visual or audio feedback makes this pacing issue even more noticeable. Hopefully these things are remedied in the next build, and it sounds like the assets have already been made. If that's the case, then I could see that helping a lot.

And that's about it. It's good, but flawed.

If the wolf was a muscle bottom maybe I could overlook those flaws. Just saying. >.>

Holy hell, dude. That was sick. Hats off. Round of applause. Time for everyone to pack up and go home because you wiped the floor with our sorry asses.

You don't need me to tell you that the presentation was an 11/10. The UI, the images, the backgrounds, the sprites. the audio. Everything was top notch. And, although you kinda belittled yourself on the writing, I thought that it was pretty dang good too. 

One thing I particularly loved was what you left out. For example, when the numbers first appeared there wasn't any goofy exposition or ham-handed monologue that ground the pace to a halt. It just was. Now that's how you tell a story within a visual novel. And, I'll be honest, the concept brought me right back to my teenage years when I watched that shoddy 2011 movie "In Time" with Justin Timberlake, and I loved that.

The only nitpick I have is that the opening scene is a little weak.

Still, it's a fantastic entry. Absolutely fantastic.

There's some good stuff here, but it feels muddled.

First off, the custom assets. Those were really nice. Especially the wolf. That's a unique art style that I've never seen before, and it helps highlight his emotions. Also the writing itself is decent.

That said, I found the plot hard to sink my teeth into. The internal monologue didn't grab me as much as I would have liked, and once things started to get going I started scratching my head. Maybe I missed something? Or maybe the context is explained by your other fvn?

A short, simple romance that hit all the notes it needed to hit.

The custom assets were really nice; although, I wish that there had been audio. I think that adding something like an ambient spaceship humming would have really helped make it feel less empty.. The writing is good. It's not my cup of tea, but it isn't bad by any stretch. 

All in all, a solid entry.

A very interesting start.

The custom backgrounds were appreciated. Also how the sound design adds to the overall feel of the VN is a nice bit of worldbuilding. The writing is good and approachable. The title screen was good too.

I'm finding it tough to say that I loved it considering it is so early in the story, but I like what's there so far. Am eager to see where this goes in the future.

You really called me out about the baddie's motivations. Those characters did change halfway through the script. And I think that made the sudden ending even more of a question mark.

For things like the bridge scene, I wanted to imply some kind of timer for the protagonists. Not sure if that came across well enough.

I'm surprised you liked the sound design, though. Imo it was pretty bad, especially compared to my other stuff. But I'm happy you seemed to like it!

Thanks for the review! This was my first attempt at romance and science fiction, so all of your feedback is helpful!

Okie dokes. That's the third one down. Another interesting idea that doesn't quite hit the mark execution wise. Still, I think this was good for experience. And, as for a story that you worked through in 2 days, this is not bad at all.

Hope to see more of you in the future!

The main distinction that I tried to convey in the story was one of experience vs. knowledge and how those two things differ. 

That led to the moral weirdness(?) that you identified: despite him being an adult, Wesley's slowed transformation makes him act childish. I tried to pace it so that by the time the romance got going Wesley was already emotionally mature. Unfortunately, like the ending, it sounds like I missed the mark on that. I had wanted to make his maturity more explicit to really emphasize that point, but the word count was nipping at my heels. Ideally, I think this story should have had another 10k words at least to let all the elements breath.

Regarding the feet sizes, idk man. I based them off of my own feet in my hands so maybe mine are just on the small side XD.

I never saw the movies thing as a framing device. It was a quirk to give the characters something to build off of in a few of the scenes. Maybe I could have made it into something more, but then I run would run into the word count problem again. 

As for the other character stuff, I don't really have an answer other than that's how they came out so that's what they did.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thanks for the review! That was a fun read and a cool deep dive that made me look at the story in a different light. +1

I don't have anything more to talk about that I didn't already say in my Worth More Than Words comment. 

Overall, still a shaky execution atop a solid foundation. I will say that I like the concept of this one a lot though. It would be interesting if you returned to this in the future once you have honed your writing abilities.

The first in the JMJerbear's MAY WOLF trio and a good effort at making a complete FVN.

There is a respectable foundation here. The writing ability is decent. The custom art is nice and much appreciated. The music is fitting and appropriate.

I'm not sure if I can tell you anything that hasn't already been said. There needs to be more of a forward thrust that makes the reader feel like they are progressing through the story. I could parrot the usual "show don't tell", but I personally like to call it "dramatize vs. summarize". Summarizing isn't necessarily bad, but it isn't interesting. It's a tool. Drama is what the people love.

I'm probably tardy to the party with that advise, but I can see a whole lot of potential here. Interested to see how your other entries shape-up.

That was really nice.

I loved the series of little vignettes. They weren't substantial, but they all were fun and adorable in their own way. Had a lot of fun with those. Also the custom assets were great! Really loved how expressive the love interest was. Also the little touches like the people moving in the backgrounds, the sfx, and the choice-driven narrative really add a lot.

I will agree that the other commenters that the beginning and the end are the weak spots of an otherwise solid game. I'm not sure what exactly they needed, but they needed something to make them pack more of a punch.

In the end it's a small package with a lot of pleasant surprises and neat storytelling techniques. Pretty good!

The biggest of big bois comes to town.

Not a whole lot to say with this one, but it was decent. The idea is interesting and I personally like that the theme is used very literally. It's lacking some substance right now, but I think that that is more because of the short development window rather than anything else.

All in all, a good entry that was meant to set the stage for what's to come.

Well slap me on the arse and toss me in the Tiber, that was excellent!

I gotta be honest, I wasn't sure about this at first. It felt like the narrative interjections were a bit too intrusive in the first couple scenes, and I just about rolled my eyes at the mention of werewolves.

But the atmosphere! The atmosphere! Fantastic. It won me over with the music and the CGs. Packaging is everything, and this was packaged beautifully. And I think that once the story got going, the writing smoothed out and flowed very well.

This was a great read, and I'm so glad you stayed up till 5am to submit it! Can't wait to see what becomes of this in the future!

Why Obama tho?

EDIT: Also the picture should have been a COVID test for maximum luls.

It's ambitious. I'll give it that.

I do think, under the circumstances, it was a great attempt at creating a fantasy world with such a small word count. Also the extra animation work and sprite alternates were well appreciated. Not enough VNs put in the effort to do those things and they really help give the game its own personality imo.

That said, the story moves at a mile a minute. So many things happen one after another that I never had a chance to settle into this world that you are trying to build. Further, because the pacing is so fast, there is quite a bit of telling going on, and that hurts the narrative voice.

It's an interesting entry and one that I think could have been made a lot better if the Jam allowed you more time to polish things. Am interested to see what becomes of this in the future.

Thanks for the feedback! There were definitely moments near the end that were less than graceful. I don't think I'll go back and adjust much b/c I like the idea of the main story being a product of the Jam, but I may add an epilogue to smooth things sometime in the future.

A nice, cozy story that (smartly, imo) uses the theme in a very literal way. 

Short and silly but fun. Sure, there aren't any big twists or crazy reveals, but there's nothing bad here. In fact, I'd say that it was pretty good. The dialogue is good, and the art and music fit well with the whimsical tone that it was going for.

A solid entry.

This was a good one. Hauntingly beautiful is a great way to describe it.

There's not a lot happening, but the dialogue is good and the music is fitting. Custom sprites, gui, and BGs are always appreciated, and the art style lends itself well to the VN's surreal tone.

I do have a bone to pick regarding the deviations from normal VN format. Namely, having the name of the speaking character slightly to the right of center and differentiating between dialogue and narration with quotation marks. That felt like it added an unnecessary layer of confusion at the beginning.

Overall still an enjoyable experience, and one that actually utilized the theme in a substantial way. Yay!

You know, I'm pretty sure that me and Konpeito have completely opposite tastes in media. As such, I went into this with a healthy dose of skepticism. 

But, goddamn, this game was so charming.

The art style is good. The sound design is fantastic. And the plot just works. It just works; there's no other way to describe it. It's cute and its fun and it wrapped me up in its stupid, silly romance that kept me smiling till the end.

If I had to give a few critiques, I would say that the theme is not very present and there was a textbox overflow with one of the dialogues. 

Still an excellent entry! So glad I played it!

First off, I love this art style. Simple and clean, I think it does wonders. Also custom BGs to go along with custom sprites. Very nice.

I'm not sure if I understood the conflict though. It jumped me out of nowhere and left me more than a little confused. I think this may have to do with excessive sentence structure: it packs a lot of phrases into one thing, and that hurts readability.

The poetry was a little jarring at first, but I now I think it worked well and added a nice bit of contrast.

Looking forward to see where you take this in the future!