That was good!
Although you said you hadn't written in years, the prose was solid. The custom assets and images were awesome, and I appreciate all of the spritework you did to make the characters emote. On the surface, there isn't anything bad here.
I do think it tended to drag a bit for reasons that other commenters have already covered so I won't repeat those.
I'm not a fan of slice of life, but I will say that this was a pleasant surprise. Good job!
Thank you for reading with us, and thank you for your thoughts.
I'm happy to know that you enjoyed the writing! I feel like I'm a bit rusty but I'm delighted to know that it is solid. I wanted to have the characters emote as much as possible. I'm glad that Sikyu drew many emotions for me to utilize for the characters and their writing. I wanted to convey tone and emotion as much as possible.
I do agree that the story dragged on a bit, especially for the talk about the video games. If there was less of it, and more time for developing characters, I think that the story's impact would be more meaningful, especially Callum's character as well. He needed more development so his growth could feel meaningful as well.
I'm pleased to know that you liked this story. I feel like slice of life stories are sometimes hard to do, so some of them end up feeling mundane. I wanted my story to not feel boring or mundane, but I think there should be more to it. A part of me feels like it's still missing something. I think for a future product, I should try another genre instead.
