You are asking for their SEX not their GENDER. They are non-binary which means that even IF they were assigned female at birth (afab) they are not a woman.
And yes it is rather offensive because demanding to know their sex makes it seem like you think that genitals are more important than how they identify. Which is gross. I hope you don't treat real people like this.
As much as I want to agree. I can kinda understand where their coming from. I've been on the other end as well, of being judged for anatomy over gender so I know it sucks. But even I have things that turn me off and on of the physical side of things reguardless of the gender of the person. And I don't see how being disrespectful of that is any better than being disrespectful of someone's true gender or sexual orientation.
Personally I may be more mentally flexable with the gender of a person. More about personality for me. But no matter how much I might wish otherwise. When it comes to physical nature, I can not just on a whim, change the fact that some female parts turn me off. I don't like that it is that way, but it is what it is.
I find myself also not sure how to imagine Noah, and I hope whenever/if our characters do get to be with them physically in story, it will be writen in a way that can be flexible to imagination at least.
"And I don't see how being disrespectful of that is any better than being disrespectful of someone's true gender or sexual orientation."
Given that demanding to know a non-binary person's downstairs mixup is patently rude and can be triggering for people with body disphoria, yeah it is pretty different.
For me it's a constant reminder that I will never escape the body I was stuck with and that it will always define me in some way despite my wishes. So like, yeah, seeing shit like that fucking sucks.
Where did I say anything about 'demanding' to know a real life person's downstairs makeup.? Real life that might come about eventually in a natural way as get to know someone. We don't have that with a fictional character so much. At least right now. Also I am trans-male myself so please don't treat me like I don't know anything about triggers for dysphoria. In fact I meantioned that in my post.
Although I will admit I have limited knowledge for those non-binery gender. I try to be look at all sides though as best as I can, even though some can be difficult to understand, or I may missunderstand some things. Anyways I was just expressing what I understood.
