I don't mind listening to other people's takes on my story. ^^ It is an open game, so if you really want to make some dialogue changes you are welcome to make your own version of the game.
Cool. ^.^
Not to say I will. But if I was to do anything, it would be to make a short animation, using the story you made as a base, with some of my own small changes to it. As a form of fan fiction, of a fan fiction.
Been thinking about it a lot actually. Became oddly obsessed over this story of yours. I don't know why. O.O
But I lack the talent and time for such a project. However, if I did do such a thing, I'll be sure to let you know.