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I think this is really sweet! You have a very nice little melodic idea and you use it really effectively to tell the story. Im going to disagree with a past comment and say i think the drums to stand out a little bit too much, and you could probably turn them down a bit, but overall this was very nice!!! Well done.

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Thank you for the feedback. 

Since this is only my first composition, I will strive to do even better next time. <3

Super impressive for a first composition, you should be proud! I hope the feedback you have received from everyone helps you grow even more :D