Thank you for the feedback! With "lacking flow" do you mean that it is too wordy?
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Not necessarily - I mean that there are so many different types of things that you want to convey with normal font, bold font, italics, bullet points, pointy bullet points etc. that it all seems kind of scattered, not very streamlined. I don't to sound harsh - these are amazing things that you're trying to say! But to my mind, Shadowdark is an epitome of those succint descriptions that use only the bare bones of language and leave all the rest for the GM (or PCs). On the other hand, who says that Shadowdark adventures have to follow footsteps of the style the textbook was written in? So maybe I am hyperfixating a little?
(I hope it all makes sense, English is not my first language :D)