Hi Noodie,
Sorry here is my part two reply because I realized I didn't answer your question about Ruwin's sister. TBH I didn't have a design for her in mind, it's sad and tragic for me to think about her too deeply other than it's a very tragic situation that I could relate to when I was a new sleep deprived mother to my son. I was reading late night obsessively about infants and young childrens causes of death out of fear and paranoia and there's a lot of very sad tragic stories, shaking baby syndrome being one of them. Ruwin's story is a bit complicated in that he is not a perfect victim. Though he was a child and didn't know fully what he was doing, his strength and temperament made him a dangerous person from an early age. I hear him getting compared to a dog and I also think of the time I was taking care of a saint Bernard. The temperament was very docile, sweet and obedient (much calmer than any other puppy I've met) but their strength is honestly terrifying. As a adolescent dog, he would meekly sit in the house and follow slowly and calmly but once he got outside he would get a little burst of energy and jump around. He 'patted' my arm once playfully, pushed me over and tore the sleeve of my coat. He barked infrequently but when he did it was like this "BOOM"ing deep bark that reminds me of how a lions roar travels for miles. So yeah I think of Ruwin as someone who was built like this saint Bernard, had an accidental and unforgivable incident and being in the punitive system sort of arrested his development and he never really grew from there as he was afraid to face his feelings of guilt, sadness and shame. It was easier for him to just turn his thoughts off and just play the role of a monster. I've had some family members struggles with addiction/incarceration and have close relationship with someone who is naturally a strong burlier built man ( some reason just thought of Fezzik's line in the princess Bride " I don't even exercise" and reminds me of this strong person haha) and it's interesting to me their insights how they had to navigate the world and how they are perceived helped form their self image. As someone more smaller side and always felt weak, its fascinating for me to learn challenges of such expectations, alienation is can cause and try to emphasize with the otherwise of the fence. Being feared protected him when he was in vicious prison system but it made him very lonely so I think if Ruwin could choose, he wouldn't want to be so big and strong and wished he had more time to be a child be just held, reassured and guided. So yeah given this self image he cant really see himself as handsome and is embarrassed of his scars. He probably envies more normal sized people who can walk about without standing out and act more freely without causing as much of a ruckus.
