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The Mandolin gets a little quiet in the mix. Don't let your lack of confidence deter you - you're playing it well, and the fact that it's human actually adds a lot MORE to the mix. Your playing is good. Play the crap out of that mandolin and do it every day, improvise.  

I think the composition is also maybe a little static, but the idea is good. Improvising on simpler instruments is really a great way to develop a more dynamic sense, even if you're staying within a mode or a scale - it teaches you how to loosen up musically and it makes adding in complex things into improv a lot easier later.

Heh the male choir reminds me of my own voice in its timbre.

Great work!

(+1)

Thanks for this really detailed feedback, this is exactly the kind of stuff I need to progress.

 Mandolin was a bit of a carrying over from a very early draft when when it had a bit more of a slavic feel, I was then stuck in the situation where if it was removed that staticness you mentioned really set in. I'd probably have removed it if I had more time, but that's the beauty of doing stuff on tight deadlines sometimes. This is my first of these composition jams but it will definitely be appearing more in future. 

Everything you've said resonates though and I'll absolutely be trying to take it on board going forward.

Thanks for your feedback though and taking the time to listen, very excited to go through and listen to everyone elses.