There’s a lot going on in this story for as short as it has to be for the competition, and that doesn’t help what should be an impactful event. This isn’t to say the story is bad- the opposite actually. I like the idea of mom and dad training their child to live in the world, and the bonds that would arise from such a life. Unfortunately there isn’t enough page space to develop that relationship to give the hammer blow it needs. That being said, I really appreciate the story for what it does, how it flows, and how you allow the protagonist to fail, and rise again stronger and more determined than before. Good job.
Viewing post in Lessons from the Heartwood jam comments
Thank you so much for taking time to read this story. I agree entirely with all your points. This was really my first ever experience with creative writing, and the one page constraint really humbled many of my initial ideas put to page. I’m really glad I was able to participate in this event and really look forward to future events to see if I can hone in a bit better.
The only way we grow is through mindful repetition. Creative writing is a tough thing sometimes, even for those with “training” in it. Your brain has to be in it most times, and jump starting that process can be hit or miss. If this was your first attempt at such a thing, it didn’t come across that way. Keep at it. Before long you’ll have grand tales spun that will carry weight and deliver the hammer blows where needed.