It was spooky, it was ominous, you did a really good job of setting up for the punchline without giving it away. A real highlight of the jam for me. Maybe my only real dissatisfaction was that it was hard for me to see what made this a Grimdark Future story versus a Warhammer 40K story.
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Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it and really appreciate the feedback! It was fun to write.
I think this area of the official Dark Elf Raider lore (alchemists copying protectorate gene-mods to create powerful but irreversibly damaged dark elf warriors) is pretty under-explored and itself doesn't stray too far from 40k, so I was pretty conscious of the potential comparison when writing. Evidently, I played it a bit too "safe" to truly differentiate it. I think the story strays most into 40k in the disturbing physical appearance/demeanor of the alchemist himself, but I worried the story might not work/hit the same without the added unsettling detail/creepy factor.