I really enjoyed the premise of this story; it feels like something straight out of The Expanse. I can't help feeling, though, that the technical details you include (normally something I enjoy very much, and in your story they do work to establish the credibility of both the author and the characters) took up space that you didn't really have to spare. The climax of the story, the destruction of the "ramshackle rocket" itself, didn't carry a lot of emotional weight; in this case, I think more personal information about Jar and his crew would have served the story better than more technical information.
Viewing post in The Rickety Rocket jam comments
I can see your point. I wasn’t going for an emotionally impactful story (unless an “Oh, snap” chuckle was emitted). The technical stuff was meant to try and show that Jar wasn’t an idiot- that he could plan and fly his ship well. Two very competent people hitting head on in uneven circumstances, and the anticlimactic result that happens in warfare all to often.