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schnick3rs4 years ago(+1)

So, I like the story. I can't see my final rating so I derive this from my notes:

Enjoyment: 3-4

I'm a Khorne War fan, so you got me there. Short cool snippets from the various battlefield encounters (thumbs up). The part with the weapon selection book and the glyph was not for me. It felt a little to hack & slash computer game. Maybe that was the goal? Just my opinion and personal preference here. It took me a little out of the immersion.

Originality: 3-4

Live die repeat was not so new. But to be fair, I also struggled a bit to make something matching the theme that was not derived from something.

Theme: 5

I found the repeating live, kill, die sequence captured the infinity loop very good. One question thou. In Second last part, it indicates that the demoness is in her last "weapon" cycle? Did I read that correct?

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Schaten4 years ago

Thanks for this reply. 

I'm my view: she is not only a demon of war, she is partly THE god of war, which is more like a concept (as war is a part of nature, born from struggle and fighting). Others demons are just like her: parts of a greater thing, which in the end is the concept of it.

The final part is exactly a reference to MMOs, and essentially give a explanation to "why demons of war keep battling". They are in in sort of "farming cycle", constantly respawning in this universe wide battlefield...

She do it to earn acheviments, and unlock new cosmetics (hence the name of the tale). The final of the tale is she going back to the "farming" cycle, she just got a new cosmetic, and gona try it...

I see the problem: to much implicit concepts tangled together: if you have to explain stuff outside your story, then it is not well written.

Thanks for taking the time to criticize.

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