How would you describe the protagonist? Based on where it's going, do you have any assumptions about the ending? If so, what are they? What do you feel when playing/what do you think the mood is? Any other comments/feedback would be much appreciated!
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hi sarah!
Protagonist seems adventurous, thoughtful, and appropriately bewildered without laboring over that fact. I don't have any assumptions about the ending yet really! I haven't felt the narrative priming me for any particular development yet. More general feedback: Your prose is strong and executes light horror themes very well, but I would recommend (as it seems some other folks have) changing up some of the interactivity, either in links that expand to provide more information/detail or in expressive dialogue choices, or something like that. It seems like you are guiding us toward certain story beats, which is working well, but it's worth exploring other ways to present and interact with the prose you already have! Excited to see where this goes next.
- jess
I'm getting a dreamy mood with darker undertones, which I assume is what you're going for! Actually, I think a large part of that mood is coming from character dialogue. The other characters all seem to be bitter, nihilistic, or always slightly annoyed at adelaide, and having that contrast with the whimsical-feeling atmosphere is working great. The protagonist's internal dialogue, and the few choices she can make, seem to be apathetic/passive or annoyed. If I had to guess, it seems like you're wanting to lean towards having your diversity of choices be in that range, but you haven't quite implemented that. So I think sprinkling in some expressive choices along the way will bring out her character a lot more!